From The Comedy Store
The White House e-mails on September 11th were leaked Tuesday identifying the al-Qaeda attack on the U.S. consulate as it happened. It had nothing to do with a mob reaction to a video as claimed by the White House. If Barack Obama had been president seventy years ago he would have blamed the attack on Pearl Harbor on an anti-Japanese newsreel.
The FBI employed a double agent to thwart a Bangladeshi student who tried to blow up New York’s Federal Reserve Bank. The terrorist tried to use a truck bomb. President Obama blamed the attack on the fiftieth anniversary release of Lawrence of Arabia on DVD.
Lance Armstrong was dropped by Nike over the overwhelming evidence that he lied about steroid use. This is far from over. Lance Armstrong just flew to New York to deny doping claims, but it would have been more convincing if he had used a plane.
Mitt Romney said as governor he asked women’s groups to help him hire qualified females and they brought him binders full of women. How archaic. He was governor so long ago people submitted their resumes on paper instead of throwing them in the ocean.
Cook County Supervisors proposed a tax on every bullet sold in Chicago to help raise tax revenue to pay for cash-strapped government services. It’s only going to make the city less safe. At an extra dollar a bullet, warning shots will be a thing of the past.
Barack Obama’s college friend claimed the president sold cocaine back when he was in college. The story was obviously planted by Democrats. The attacks on Mitt Romney didn’t work so now Barack Obama is trying to portray himself as a successful businessman.
The New York Supreme Court ruled that lap dancing does not have the same culture benefit as ballet. They ruled community arts theaters are entitled to tax breaks but strip bars aren’t. Otherwise you can imagine the number of Kennedy Centers for the Performing Arts.
An Italian court sentenced a meteorologist and a seismologist to six years in prison for manslaughter for failing to predict a deadly earthquake. It’s far from the first time it has happened. Why do you think the prisons in California are so overcrowded?
Cuba announced details of its new travel policy. They said Cubans won’t need government permission to travel abroad. They’re not worried in the least about a brain drain because no doctor in his right mind would want to work in the U.S. medical system.
An Egyptian talk show host was jailed for telling a joke about Egypt’s new president. America’s president takes a different approach. He just appears on every talk show every night figuring that no one will have the guts to tell a joke about him to his face.
Costume World said Barack Obama masks are selling thirty percent more than Mitt Romney masks are selling. It makes perfect sense. If you wear a Mormon mask to a Halloween party in Beverly Hills no one is going to offer you a drink, much less any drugs.
The New York Times ran a story blaming the Obama campaign’s slump on Bill Clinton’s bad advice. Sounds like sour grapes. They can’t very well blame Obama’s slump on Bill Clinton’s bad character, because that’s what got him elected president twice.
President Francois Holland proposed to ban French schools from giving homework. He’s also proposed taxing the rich seventy-five percent. The Germans can’t believe they invaded France twice when all they had to do was set off an alarm clock and they’d retreat.
The White House e-mails on September 11th were leaked Tuesday identifying the al-Qaeda attack on the U.S. consulate as it happened. It had nothing to do with a mob reaction to a video as claimed by the White House. If Barack Obama had been president seventy years ago he would have blamed the attack on Pearl Harbor on an anti-Japanese newsreel.
© Copyright 2012 Argus Hamilton
