From The Comedy Store
The Pentagon acknowledged a U.S. missle drone attack took out the Taliban’s number-two commander. He’s the fourth number-two leader of the Taliban the U.S. has assassinated by drones in four years. Who says the administration isn’t creating new jobs?
U.N. Ambassador Susan Rice was promoted to National Security Advisor by the president. Now she has to join the Writers Guild. Instead of delivering fictionalized talking points to the Sunday TV talk shows, she will be in the White House making them up.
The NSA was revealed to have recorded all phone calls made in the U.S. on Verizon in the last two months. What’s the big surprise? In the last two elections, polls showed Americans felt that Barack Obama was the candidate who was most likely to listen to them.
NSA programmer Edward Snowden fled to Hong Kong after blowing the lid off NSA spying. His intelligence may be a bit over-rated. If you don’t want to be tracked down, don’t go to a country where there are a billion people and you’re the only white guy.
The U.S. Senate heard testimony from the NSA Director Keith Alexander over the NSA secret data collection program. He said the NSA doesn’t use this information against President Obama’s political opponents. That’s the IRS’s job and they’re in a different union.
President Obama met China’s president Xi Jingping in Palm Springs. China has been stealing data from U.S. citizens and U.S. companies and U.S. media to gain the upper hand on them. President Obama just loves attending these continuing education seminars.
Anthony Weiner rose in the polls in the N.Y. mayor’s race. The voters seem happy with his amends. He apologized to his wife for his sex misconduct, he apologized to the nation for lying about it, and he apologized to Bill Clinton for copyright infringement.
CBS News says Hillary Clinton’s State Department security men partied with hookers while guarding Hillary overseas. It could set off a turf war. Congress is very upset with the State Department agents for procuring hookers, which is traditionally Congress’s role.
Toyota of Japan announced the recall of eighty-seven thousand Prius hybrids due to faulty brakes on the cars. The bad news is it could take months to get them all fixed. The good news is that the Prius doesn’t go fast enough for brakes to be a safety issue.
The Pentagon acknowledged a U.S. missle drone attack took out the Taliban’s number-two commander. He’s the fourth number-two leader of the Taliban the U.S. has assassinated by drones in four years. Who says the administration isn’t creating new jobs?
President Obama stopped by a North Carolina middle school and told kids that every school should have high-speed Internet. The kids aren’t cool with the idea. Its bad enough when the teacher catches you passing notes in class, they don’t need the president busting them for music piracy.
The NBA Finals between the San Antonio Spurs and the Miami Heat split the first two games in Miami. It’s a great sport. President Obama loves playing in pick-up basketball games because not only is it terrific exercise, the whistle-blowers don’t get you impeached.
IRS officials admitted the tax-exempt scrutiny squad searches for words like Patriot, Liberty and Tea Party in petitioner literature to trigger audits and delays. England can’t believe their good luck. If they’d scrutinized every pamphleteer who mentioned Liberty, Patriot and Tea Party two hundred and forty years ago, we’d still be their problem.
Senator Chuck Schumer said if Immigration Reform passes that illegal immigration will be a thing of the past. It’s a contentious bill. Republicans want to put border security first, but they can’t think of a polite way to tell construction workers building a two-thousand-mile-long wall to stand on the south side of the wall while they’re building it.
© Copyright 2013 Argus Hamilton
