From The Comedy Store
President Obama went on TV and announced his intention to sell Congress on the idea of attacking Syria. It was forceful. Fifty years from now, defense contractors will gather on the White House lawn to commemorate the president’s I Have a Drone speech.
President Obama went on TV and announced his intention to sell Congress on the idea of attacking Syria. It was forceful. Fifty years from now, defense contractors will gather on the White House lawn to commemorate the president’s I Have a Drone speech.
President Obama said he has the authority to attack Syria and then he said he will ask Congress for the authority to attack Syria. No one knows his next move. He spent the rest of the Labor Day weekend huddled with his two closest advisors, Yes and No.
President Obama met in Sweden with Scandinavian leaders to talk about the Mideast attack. They love our bi-racial president. Four years ago they awarded his black half the Nobel Peace Prize and tonight his white half will be named Viking of the Year.
GOP senators met with President Obama Monday and urged him to hit Syria hard with a surgical strike on army targets. It never fails. The politicians who call for a surgical strike are the same ones who hit someone in the stands when they throw out the first pitch.
John Kerry assured the Senate that an attack on Syria will not involve boots on the ground. The Democrats sincerely mean that. To ensure there are no boots on the ground President Obama just ordered everyone in the infantry to be issued a pair of Nikes.
President Obama asked Congress to authorize force against Syria’s Bashar al-Assad to help rebels overthrow him. It’s iffy. Once a president obeys the Constitution on war powers it’s a slippery slope before he must declare mandatory health insurance tyrannical.
Heisman Trophy winner Johnny Manziel was suspended by the NCAA for the first half of last Saturday’s game. They suspect he took cash to autograph jerseys. The NCAA issued a statement warning that this is what happens when a college player is taught how to write.
MLK anniversary speaker Melanie Campbell compared the Supreme Court to the Ku Klux Klan during her speech on the Lincoln Memorial. That is so wrong. The KKK are a bunch of guys in white sheets that scare the hell out of black people while the Supreme Court’s a bunch of guys in black sheets that scare the hell out of white people.
The Republican National Committee was reported set to launch a minority outreach effort. It will help the GOP win if it works. They’re going to spend ten million dollars telling black voters, Hispanic voters and Asian voters the election is on Wednesday.
Russia’s president Vladimir Putin was reported to have amassed a fortune of over seventy billion dollars since he took over the country. And this guy was raised a communist. Imagine how rich he’d be if he didn’t believe in the re-distribution of wealth.
Cleveland pedophile Ariel Castro hung himself in jail rather than serve life for kidnapping three girls for ten years. No one’s sad. Joe Biden was seen in the U.S. Capitol pounding on the office doors of U.S. senators and shouting that we finally got Castro.
McDonald’s workers struck for higher wages backed by Democratic Party activists and union leaders. Labor support is a core party belief. The Syrians should expect the Obama administration to attack on a Sunday just so they can get time and a half.
Dennis Rodman was invited to return to North Korea and visit Kim Jung Un and talk basketball with the dictator. How tight is Kim’s grip on his people? No one in North Korea has the nerve to tell Kim Jung Un that Dennis Rodman is not President Obama.
© Copyright 2013 Argus Hamilton
