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July 12, 2014

From The Comedy Store

Mexican traffickers were caught on video hauling illegal immigrant kids from one side of the Rio Grande to the other aboard jet skis. It’s a crisis. It turns out that there’s a three-inch fish that’s been displaced by the wake of the jet skis, and now the Democrats are calling for impeachment.

President Obama had a service member citizenship ceremony at the White House on July Fourth. Fifteen foreign-born soldiers and sailors became citizens. At the end of the ceremony, Mr. Obama handed them Hawaiian birth certificates in case they ever want to run for president.

Mexican traffickers were caught on video hauling illegal immigrant kids from one side of the Rio Grande to the other aboard jet skis. It’s a crisis. It turns out that there’s a three-inch fish that’s been displaced by the wake of the jet skis, and now the Democrats are calling for impeachment.

Texas Governor Rick Perry invited President Obama to visit the U.S. border area with him in Texas but the president resisted. He’s seen enough of people jumping over fences. Already three White House Counsels and a press secretary have escaped that way.

Obama was urged by immigration advocates to grant refugee status to all the children arriving at the U.S. border. They maintain these kids are victims of poverty and the highest murder rate in the world. Many of them walked all the way to the border from Chicago.

Obama dared Congress to sue him if they don’t like the laws he’s going to enact without Congress. His timing was unfortunate. On July 4th, a guy on the radio read the middle part of the Declaration of Independence and it sounded just like an anti-Obama rant.

Sarah Palin called on Congress to impeach President Obama for inaction over the mess at the U.S. border. That’s pretty much her style and temperament. Unfortunately for the House Republicans, there’s a very good case against impeachment and it’s called Joe Biden.

World Cup officials were thrilled at the TV ratings in America Wednesday. ESPN reported that twenty-five million three hundred thousand people in the U.S. were watching. In a related story, there are at least twenty-five million three hundred thousand immigrants living in the U.S.

Germany scored goal after goal, humiliating five-time champion Brazil in the World Cup Tuesday before a stunned home crowd in Rio de Janeiro. The rout was historic. The Germans ran off five goals against Brazil so quickly in the first half that at halftime, France surrendered.

Germany will take on Argentina in the finals of the World Cup played Sunday in Rio. The TV ratings should be absolutely huge. Everybody’s looking forward to watching an exciting game between the country where the Nazis started and the country where the Nazis ended up.

The National Football League announced the referees are going to crack down this year on excessive celebrations. The dancing and finger-wagging and high-fiving is out of hand. NFL players are being ordered not to show off too much after a touchdown, a sack or a murder.

Hillary Clinton’s Hard Choices about her triumphs as Secretary of State was knocked off bestseller lists this week by Blood Feud by Ed Klein, which is an expose about Hillary’s failures as Secretary of State. Her book about her is sinking fast, however his book about her is soaring. The lesson for writers here is, nobody wants to pay thirty dollars to hear how well you’re doing.

The New York Times says Chelsea Clinton commands seventy-five thousand dollars a speech but the fee goes into the Clinton Foundation. Nice racket. President Obama just told Sasha and Malia they can go to any college in the world and he’ll pay for it, as long as they major in speech.

Obama was photographed shooting pool in a bar with Colorado’s Governor John Hickenlooper in Denver Tuesday. They shot pool, drank beer and ate burgers. The governor wanted to pick up the check, but Obama wouldn’t hear of it and charged it to our grandchildren.

© Copyright 2014 Argus Hamilton

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