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March 7, 2015

From The Comedy Store

California gun rights activists are lobbying legislators in Sacramento to change the state’s law which bans Californians from openly carrying handguns. The ban has a few exceptions. The law allows exemptions for hunting and shooting events, such as changing lanes on the Hollywood Freeway.

California gun rights activists are lobbying legislators in Sacramento to change the state’s law which bans Californians from openly carrying handguns. The ban has a few exceptions. The law allows exemptions for hunting and shooting events, such as changing lanes on the Hollywood Freeway.

Treasury investigators said they found IRS official Lois Lerner’s emails that may show the White House used the IRS to target conservatives. The IRS testified that Lois’s e-mails were lost when her computer crashed. It crashed when Barack Obama threw it out of Air Force One at forty thousand feet.

Washington D.C. officially legalized the possession and home growing of marijuana at midnight on Thursday. The city is now the only national capital in the world where pot is legal. The next day the president confronted Michelle and claimed half of her White House garden as community property.

Moody’s announced it downgraded the bond rating for Chicago municipal bonds, which significantly reduced the city’s credit rating. Now, as a result, Chicago’s municipal bonds are only two steps away from junk due to unfunded liabilities. Millions of dead voters risk not receiving their payoffs.

Israel’s opposition to Obama’s proposed nuclear deal with Iran was joined by Egypt, Saudi Arabia and Jordan. It looks like our president has finally earned that Nobel Peace Prize he won. Obama is the first president in history to unite Israel, Egypt, Saudi Arabia and Jordan.

The Pentagon expressed concern that the U.S.-trained Iraqi Army about to fight ISIS forces for the city of Tikrit is being led by Iran’s Revolutionary Guard. You need a scorecard. If you don’t know who the Revolutionary Guard is, they’re our allies who we’ll be fighting this time next year.

Obama insisted that the worldwide terrorist strikes can’t be attributed to any one religion. He back up the assertion that terrorism is caused by joblessness and prior colonialism. However for the first time the president clearly and distinctly identified the enemy by name: Fox News.

Hillary Clinton reportedly used private e-mail to run U.S. foreign policy while taking money from foreign nations for the Clinton Foundation. It’s dire. For those of you new to comedy and magic, this is the point where Bill has a sex scandal that lasts just long enough for Hillary to escape unharmed.

National Intelligence Director James Clapper last week warned Congress the U.S. is in imminent danger of attack. The next day Secretary of State John Kerry said that we’ve never been safer. When asked if the administration was sending out mixed messages, a White House spokesman said yes and no.

Congress passed a clean bill funding Homeland Security through September that did not cut funds for Obama’s amnesty order for illegals. They will work it out. Congress wants new immigration rules that give work visas to agriculture workers, to nurses, and to lobbyists with cash.

CBS announced it has extended the TV contract of Judge Judy Scheindlin to star in the daytime hit Judge Judy for another five years. Financial terms were not disclosed but her current contract pays her forty-five million dollars a year. Only Kobe Bryant gets paid more to sit on the bench.

The Smithsonian will display Mad Men character Don Draper’s gray suit, fedora hat and office bar cart to honor the rollicking Sixties drama. What an era. The difference between now and fifty years ago is today you shout at the drug store clerk for condoms and you whisper if you’d like a pack of cigarettes.

Attorney General Eric Holder spent an hour on TV reading out a list of civil rights violations by the Ferguson police. His voice grew more and more incredulous as he listed the incidents of racial profiling. Bi-coastal hot shots are always amazed to discover that Missouri is a Southern state.

© Copyright 2015 Argus Hamilton

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