From The Comedy Store
President Obama signaled a change in U.S. policy toward the Third World in a U.N. speech. He said he intends to promote commerce and free trade with poor nations rather than just give them money. If it works there, he’s going to try it here.
President Obama signaled a change in U.S. policy toward the Third World in a U.N. speech. He said he intends to promote commerce and free trade with poor nations rather than just give them money. If it works there, he’s going to try it here.
Louisiana Senator Mary Landrieu held up the nomination of the new White House Budget Director until the president lifts his ban on offshore drilling. The connection is obvious. The budget is so far underwater that only BP’s cameras can get a look at it.
GOP House Minority Leader John Boehner was targeted by the New York Times with an adultery probe. It could affect the November elections. The Republicans have had so many sex scandals in the past year they’re starting to attract Democratic voters.
President Obama was urged by environmentalists to maintain his offshore drilling ban. They don’t care about the economy. Environmentalists believe in their hearts that President Obama can restore this country to what it once was, an Arctic region covered with ice.
Jimmy Carter went on CNN last week and recalled his human rights campaign when he was president back in the Seventies. It didn’t work out like he planned. He never foresaw the day that it would be harder to get into the United States than it was to get out of the Soviet Union.
The U.S. was rated the fattest country in the world Monday in a new world health survey of rich nations. Reaction split along party lines. Democrats threatened junk food makers with federal regulations and Republicans warned Iran that if they don’t behave we’ll sit on them.
Israeli bulldozers mobilized in the West Bank Monday and resumed construction on housing units for Israeli settlers despite Arab opposition. Thousands of construction workers got busy. Palestinian protests now have a better record of creating jobs than the U.S. Congress.
The United Nations named U.N. astrophysicist Mazlan Othman to be Earth’s liaison to any space aliens if they contact mankind. This could result in a lot of good. Americans believe as an article of faith that there has to be cheaper labor out there somewhere.
Iran reported computer hacking into Iran’s nuclear plant computers Tuesday. The U.S. government is utterly incapable of committing this mischief. President Obama asked Congress in his State of the Union speech to take action against hackers and they raised cigarette taxes.
President Obama went on the Today show earlier this week and proposed year-round school for kids and no snack food on school campuses. The administration wants to cancel summer vacation and eliminate candy bars and soft drinks. Democrats possess a finely-honed sense of tragedy and despair which sustains them through life’s brief periods of joy.
Senator John Kerry said Democrats are in trouble because the electorate is misinformed and swayed by simple slogans. This is a major shift. Democrats used to say that everything is Bush’s fault, now they say everyone’s just like Bush, so everyone shares the blame.
World Wrestling CEO and GOP Senate candidate Linda McMahon surged in the polls in Connecticut to tie Democrat Richard Blumenthal. She’s on an impossible quest. She hopes to go to Washington D.C. and raise politics to the level of professional wrestling.
Nancy Pelosi ducked a vote to extend tax cuts by adjourning Congress Wednesday on the same day that polls showed she was less popular than British Petroleum. It makes no sense. BP handed out twenty billion dollars while she handed out seven hundred billion dollars.
© Copyright 2010 Argus Hamilton
Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood and speaks to groups and organizations around the country. E-mail him at [email protected].
