Chilean President Sebastian Pinera expressed gratitude after the miners were all rescued. He thanked U.S. drilling firms, the British prime minister and the Israeli prime minister. He forgot to thank Obama for not banning deep drilling after the accident.

Discovery Kids Channel will air a new cartoon series created by DC Comics and Kuwaiti investors about observant Muslim super-heroes. The kids will have to find a new hero after the end of each episode. It’s worse than free agency in Major League Baseball.

Queen Elizabeth canceled her annual Christmas Ball. It saves only eighty thousand dollars but she won’t be extravagant in hard times. Leave it to the Queen of England to show Democrats how to stay in office for more than four years at a time.

© Copyright 2010 Argus Hamilton

Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood and speaks to groups and organizations around the country. E-mail him at [email protected].

Michelle Obama cast her absentee vote in a Chicago polling place last week. She then broke Illinois election law by posing with voters at the polls and urging them to pass her husband’s agenda. You’re not allowed to do this in Chicago without money changing hands.

President Obama conceded to the N.Y. Times he realizes there’s no such thing as a shovel-ready project. He was admitting the failure of his federal stimulus program to add jobs to the economy. Today he understands it takes two terms to hire a construction worker.

Warren Buffett arrived at the White House last week to discuss ways to help end the recession. He doesn’t just talk the talk. Warren Buffett brought six cups of coffee and a box of doughnuts to the Oval Office meeting and in five minutes he was sold out.

Philadelphian Juan Rodriguez was refused the million dollars offered by a website mogul for streaking through an Obama rally. It’s because Obama never saw the guy. It’d be gay to look at a naked man when you’ve got two perfectly beautiful Teleprompters right there in front of you.

The Green Party was sabotaged by Chicago’s political machine when their governor candidate’s last name Whitney was misspelled as Whitey on ballots sent to black voting districts. It’ll be watched closely. President Obama will see it as a sign not to bother running for re-election if Whitey carries Southside Chicago in two weeks.

Senator Harry Reid compared President Obama to the rescued Chilean miners Monday. Picture the president a thousand feet underground. Democrats would be moving up in the polls and Republicans would be designing a capsule to send the rest of the cabinet down into the mine.

The Discovery Channel welcomed President Obama to a taping of Mythbusters Monday. The show tests popular science myths to see if they’re true. President Obama wants to know whether the unemployment rate is still Bush’s fault or if corporations are refusing to hire because he’s black.

Russia gave its top medals to ten spies for spying on America. They were arrested in the U.S. last year, then the U.S. traded the ten Russian spies for four U.S. spies held in Russia. So you see, we can’t even execute a spy swap without running up a sixty percent deficit.

President Obama went on a four-day campaign tour of Oregon, Washington State and California Wednesday. He’s without the Democratic Party’s biggest star up there. Al Gore can no longer campaign in the Pacific Northwest because the restraining order says three states.

President Obama defended health care reform in his Ohio speech Sunday. He’s adjusting to conditions. His big applause line used to be that health care should be universal in a country as rich as America, and then about a year ago it started getting big laughs.

© Copyright 2010 Argus Hamilton

Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood and speaks to groups and organizations around the country. E-mail him at [email protected].