House Democrats erupted in anger at President Obama over his tax cut extension and free trade deal and federal pay freeze. The liberals cursed his name in the Capitol. Ever since Obama joined the Ditto Heads he’s become a man without a country.

The U.S. Senate voted to keep the ban on gays in the U.S. military. Gay people want to be in the Army and they want to be married. It just shows you can live the world’s most libertine lifestyle but it’s not really living unless someone is right there to yell at you.

The Supreme Court heard arguments on Arizona’s new immigration law, which punishes employers who hire illegal aliens. Nobody’s rioting. Polls show that most whites and Hispanics hate each other in Arizona, but because they’re in Arizona, it’s a dry hate.

The U.S. Senate tabled Harry Reid’s Dream Act which would have given children of illegal aliens in-state tuition. The title derives from a vote they took ten years ago. Congress was asked to consider Bill Clinton’s Dream Act, and they impeached him for it.

The Global Warming Summit met in Cancun amid the coldest weather Mexico ever recorded. Even worse they booked an open-air hotel. It was so cold in the rooms that Al Gore had to ask the masseuse to imagine what he’d look like if he dropped his towel.

WikiLeaks cables revealed that the State Department believes Cuba is only two or three years away from being insolvent. What a coincidence. That would mean in the hundred-year struggle between communism and capitalism, we finished tied at the end of regulation.

House Democrats were hit by a nationwide poll showing America’s poor don’t want to raise taxes on the rich. The reason why is obvious. Rich people buy things, valuable things, and police say ninety-six percent of all home invasions target the wealthy.

The Department of Education released a study showing U.S. kids rank twenty-fifth in math, seventeenth in science, and fourteenth in reading. Our national security is not at risk, however. Our kids remain number one in violent video games by a huge margin.

President Obama’s health care reform bill was ruled unconstitutional by a U.S. judge in Virginia. it probably is. To the layman’s eye it violates the Equal Protection Clause for a black president to impose a ten percent tax on tanning booths.

President Obama reached a deal with Republicans to extend tax cuts for jobless benefits. It’ll pass. The Republicans in Congress say they’re thrilled with the tax cuts and the Democrats leaving Congress say they’re thrilled with the jobless benefits.

U.S. Marines deployed in Guatemala to train Guatemalan soldiers to battle drug cartels from Colombia. Last month Colombian authorities confiscated a kilo of cocaine molded into a replica of the World Cup. They’re unsure of the destination of the coke, but since it was in the form of the World Cup they ruled out the United States.

President Obama lit the White House Christmas tree. He told the story which he said is dear to himself and Michelle as Christians about how a special baby was born far away from home. Later, the White House clarified that he was talking about Jesus.

President Obama prepared to delay his Christmas vacation to help shove bills through Congress. He also faces the traditional last-minute Christmas shopping. A president can’t shop for Christmas gifts in late November like everyone else does because in Washington D.C., you never know who your friends are going to be in six weeks.

© Copyright 2010 Argus Hamilton

Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood and speaks to groups and organizations around the country. E-mail him at [email protected].