(Part II is here.)

We have often fretted about the devastatingly low U.S. birth rate and the fact that couples aren’t having many children. However, as podcaster Brett Cooper recently pointed out, the fundamental problem is really that men and women, especially younger ones, don’t really like one another. Women have slipped into a fantasy world wherein they don’t respect men (and yet men must do everything for them), and men have slipped into a fantasy world of pornography and Artificial Intelligence.

It’s almost like they never grew out of the “girls have cooties” or “boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider” phase of their lives.

In one sense, Generations Z and Alpha haven’t really been given the chance to grow up. Both cohorts have been taught to actively despise one another, so their being stuck in elementary school ideas isn’t shocking in the least.

We’ll start with women. Feminism has taught women that the most important thing in life is taking care of themselves materially. Actress Emma Watson said recently that the societal pressure to get married is “violence.” Ironically, most societal pressure is actually in the other direction.

Later in her comments, Watson displayed a fundamentally broken view of marriage, saying, “I’m just so happy not to be divorced yet.” Divorce isn’t inevitable, and any societal pressure to get married and uphold the essential building block of civilization is a net good. Calling it “violence” is unhinged.

Watson’s feminist convictions seem to reflect the Western culture at large. A recent NBC poll bears this out. When asked about what they see as marks of individual success, most Gen Z women responded that having a fulfilling job and being financially independent were the most important attributes. For conservative Gen Z men, however, the story is very different. Their top measures of individual success are marriage and having children. Liberal men also ranked these attributes higher than liberal women and equally with conservative women. Female independence has been pushed so hard as a cultural gold standard that even young conservative women have pushed it further down their list of priorities.

Women have also been fed a bunch of unrealistic expectations when it comes to who men are, what dating is, and what they are looking for in a life partner. Part of the problem is that young Gen Z women are living in a matriarchy. They have been told that they call all the shots and that they can be as picky as they want because men should be grateful for anything they can get. Ergo, young women who are in the dating scene have what’s being called “ick” lists — things men do that they find off-putting or relationship dealbreakers.

While feminism has a lot to answer for in this regard, women have also become so delusional and unrealistic about relationships and commitments in part because of popular literature. What many of today’s women are reading with obsessive fervor is little better than written pornography. This type of literature is dubbed “Romantasy” — i.e., smut but with magic powers and sometimes dragons. The male main characters in these novels are usually broody, broken, and merely there to prop up the ego of the female main characters while also indulging in carnal fantasies. Women have taken these expectations to the dating scene. No wonder they’re having a hard time finding anyone.

But it’s not just the women who are struggling. Young men are as well. They are struggling with loneliness. They have been told to value financial success before even thinking about marriage and a family. Some don’t value women, some have given up on women entirely, and some believe that they are women. There is a strong argument that man-to-woman transgenderism is the ultimate expression of woman-hatred.

As RedState culture critic Brandon Morse notes, men “have accepted the path of least resistance when it comes to dating and relationships.” This takes many forms. Some treat dating like a pastime and marriage like a joke. Others would rather lose their minds to easily accessible pornography. Still more have decided that an AI girlfriend is preferable to the modern single woman. To be fair, the modern single leftist woman is a terrifying creature. She is either out of her mind with wokeness or is crazy materialistically.

Men’s masculinity has been pathologized. Male strength has been reframed as toxic and predatory. Good men have been pushed to the margins, which has allowed men who claim to be ultra-masculine but who are really the epitome of male infantilization — e.g., Andrew Tate — to grab hold of the microphone. While some of Tate’s messages encourage good, healthy masculinity, ultimately, he preaches the path of least resistance. He advocates for the dehumanization of women, treating them like sex slaves, and asserts that commitment to one woman is a trap. He is far from alone. Even Elon Musk, who is at least pro-children, isn’t really pro-marriage. Both Tate and Musk push for misogyny and ignore that the essence of a worthwhile life is men and women living, loving, and working together to build a family and a culture.

Men had an excellent, encouraging role model in Charlie Kirk, who was a big reason why so many of them turned toward conservatism. Kirk was a huge advocate for dating only for the purpose of marriage, getting hitched young, and having lots of children. He also strongly encouraged young men to find like-minded young women. “These women are worth more than gold and gems,” Morse points out, “which means you have to be someone worthy to have her. This means becoming more than you are. It’s your job to succeed, grow, and provide. That is the role nature intended for you. If you spend the vast majority of your time goofing off and doing things that ultimately accomplish nothing but your own satisfaction, then you shouldn’t be surprised when a woman who’s worth it decides you’re not.”

One can only hope that, as young men strive to find and marry young women, young women will, in turn, run away from the oppressive feminism that is holding them back from experiencing a fulfilling life.

When did we stop living in the world of reality? When did we forget that relationships aren’t about finding perfection; rather, they’re about an imperfect person who is perfectly right for you? When did we stop seeing that masculinity, when properly channeled, is a net good, and femininity is a perfect counterpoint to that strength? We’ve been conditioned to scorn and dispose of one another, and it’s tearing our culture apart. We need to come back and face reality with courage.

Brett Cooper was on to something when she contended that we need to fix the dating culture and relationships between men and women before we worry about the birth rate. If men and women no longer even like one another, how can they create the next great generation?