Insight: “If Congress sees fit to impose a capitation, or other direct tax, it must be laid in proportion to the census; if Congress determines to impose duties, imposts, and excises, they must be uniform throughout the United States. These are not strictly limitations of power. They are rules prescribing the mode in which it shall be exercised. … This review shows that personal property, contracts, occupations, and the like have never been regarded by Congress as proper subjects of direct tax.” —Salmon P. Chase (1808-1873)

Thin resumé: “Golly, I forget what bills [Hillary Clinton was] part of or authored. … But she’s been a good senator. There are things outside of bills that you can do, and I know that she’s done them for her state. … I couldn’t have done [important things] as a freshman [senator] or even as a sophomore.” —Dianne Feinstein, struggling to list Clinton’s accomplishments

The BIG Lie: “The fact is, Trump isn’t that different from every other Republican candidate who would also outlaw abortion.” —Hillary Clinton (In fact, virtually no pro-lifer advocates punishing women as Trump did.)

Non Compos Mentis: “We all practice the same basic faith but different faiths. I happen to be a practicing Catholic, and I grew up learning from the nuns and the priests who taught me what we used to call Catholic social doctrine. But it’s not fundamentally different than a doctrine of any of the great confessional faiths.” —Joe Biden

But how dare we humanize a fetus! “I think [we must] really humanize [abortion] and say, ‘This is the most personal decision that many people will make in their lifetime,’ and the thought that anyone other than that person would make that decision, and that you would put that in the hands of government, is just unthinkable.” —Cecile Richards

Late-night humor: “An opening speaker at a campaign event for Hillary Clinton … asked the attendees in the audience to welcome Clinton by chanting her campaign slogan with enthusiasm. And the crowd immediately started chanting, ‘It’s! My! Turn! It’s! My! Turn!’” —Seth Meyers