Non Compos Mentis: “When someone gets shot by a gun with a silencer, it’s quiet. Witnesses might not hear. Police will be less likely to track down the shooter.” —Kirsten Gillibrand on suppressors, a.k.a. “silencers” that don’t actually make anything silent (“And you can’t scream for help because the silencer pulls sound out of your mouth.” —Frank Fleming)

Belly laugh of the week: “[My young son] now does an impression where whenever I’m bothering him he says, ‘Fake news.’” —CNN’s Jake Tapper (Smart kid!)

The Snowflake Monologues: “I’d like to share with you an experience I had today. It’s uncomfortable and scary for me… An older man with white hair came up to me at my seat today at a basketball game. He said, ‘May I take your picture?’ I said ‘Yes.’ … He said to me with open hostility as he was backing away, ‘We like Trump.’ … I feel very sad that this happened, and frankly scared.” —Ashley Judd

Flip-Flop Minority Leader: “If Republicans insist on inserting poison pill riders such as defunding Planned Parenthood, building a border wall, or starting a deportation force, they will be shutting down the government and delivering a severe blow to our economy.” —Chuck Schumer (“In 2006, Schumer was among 26 Democrats who voted for the Secure Fence Act … that was passed by both chambers of Congress and signed by President George W. Bush.” —The Daily Signal’s Rachel del Guidice)

Hyperbole: “If this [health care] legislation is passed, and millions of people are thrown off of health insurance, not able to get to a doctor when they must, thousands of Americans will die.” —Bernie Sanders (They won’t, but thousands of people actually would die under Sanders’ socialist vision.)

And last… “This CBO thing about 14 million people ‘losing’ coverage is like saying people who voluntarily leave the army ‘lose’ their base housing.” —Jonah Goldberg