So this guy walks into a restaurant called The Chop House, and he says to the waiter, “I’m vegan. What should I order?” To which the waiter replies, “I dunno. A taxi?”

But seriously, folks, if you’re worried about melting ice caps, rising sea levels, floods, and earthquakes, maybe it’s time to ditch those hot dogs and hamburgers, and instead toss a nice big salad for that Labor Day cookout.

Don’t laugh. A recent Ipsos survey says that nearly 10 million Americans are vegans, so more and more of them are bypassing the meat counter at the grocery store and heading straight for the veggies. And while some of them are doing it to improve their health, others are doing it to, uh, “save the planet.”

As with anything else these days, the Left has politicized food — and giving up meat is part of it. But the underlying message is more about saving the environment or combating global warming than any health benefits. That’s because going vegan or vegetarian is all about virtue signaling. As such, it’s akin to wearing AIDS ribbons back in the 1980s or COVID masks today. We all know that wearing a mask protects us from viruses about as well as a chain-link fence protects us from mosquitoes, but it’s all about the cultural and political symbolism.

And just like those who keep their masks on 24/7, the plant eating movement loves shaming everyone else.

A few years back, political scientist, statistician, and skeptical environmentalist Bjorn Lomborg, who also happens to be a vegetarian, lamented in USA Today that the former head of the United Nations’ climate change organization argued that meat-eaters should be made to feel like pariahs, and that restaurants in 10-15 years should start treating carnivores in the same way that smokers are treated today. Lomborg disagrees with this nasty and divisive approach, and he noted the hypocrisy of the eco-theologians by pointing out that many members of the UK’s Green Party are meat-eaters, and yet this doesn’t stop them from pushing others to give up meat.

Now if we could only get them to stop lying about the purported benefits of vegetarianism. Jayne Buxton, an investigative journalist living in the UK, is fighting the good fight against this leafy green ruse. She’s written a book called The Great Plant-Based Con, which exposes some of these myths. These include the belief that eating only vegetables is better for your health, that vegan “studies” are based on factual evidence, and that becoming a vegan will help stop climate change.

In reality, plants don’t contain the essential proteins our bodies need. And vegan studies, for all their supposed seriousness and scholarship, often conveniently leave out important details that would contradict the claims of their authors. What’s more, even if we assume that human-induced climate change is real, the entire world could go vegan with minimal impact on climate.

If we opened the fences and freed our national herd of livestock, the amount of land required to feed a nation of vegans would require substantially more crop acreage and chemical fertilizers. And what about all those gas-guzzling trucks spewing carbon dioxide into the air? They’re probably the same trucks that are transporting those vegetables and produce to market.

Some foods preferred by vegans actually do more harm to the environment than meat products, says Best Health. These include soybeans, which lead to deforestation; almonds, which place heavy demands on water systems; and avocados, which pull critical nutrients from the soil.

Advocates of vegetarian diets also neglect to mention the negative effects on the health of individuals. For example, as The Independent reports, vegetarian women often lack essential vitamins and nutrients.

Sure, everyone should probably be eating healthier these days. And more greens and a little less meat would likely help alleviate some medical problems plaguing the country. But abandoning meat entirely is not as wise as it seems. As The Atlantic reports, “Experts say the world is better off with some meat and dairy than it would be with none at all.”

What would we do without experts?

They add, “A growing body of research suggests that the world could, in fact, raise enough beef, pork, chicken, and other meat to let anyone who wants to eat a modest portion of meat a few times a week — and do so sustainably. Indeed, it turns out that a world with some animal agriculture might have a smaller environmental footprint than an entirely vegan world.”

Well, that’s a relief — and a victory for common sense. So feel free to feast on that bacon cheeseburger this coming Labor Day weekend. It’ll taste great, and you won’t be killing the planet.