Columnist.
"Presidents throughout history have used similar devices for mobility," Karine Jean-Pierre told the press.
"Maybe it will only hurt for a second. But that's it. It's the least we could do."
Protestors also called for the death of Elon Musk, but only after they get a Tesla.
"And if you don't believe me, then I'm not a Professor of Archaeology."
At publishing time, the janitor at NPR was seen straightening a giant glorious portrait of Joe Biden.
Juan Merchan was all but certain that this particular case would reach its completion on the first Wednesday of November.
"Biden is prepared to withhold the Iranian leader's evening treat or even his screen time."
"We've got him this time," a Department of Justice spokesperson said.
Ninety percent of college grads confirmed they had already spent all their extra cash on ramen noodles.
The nation remains unsurprised that the first trans D-I athletes would be playing for a team called the "Lady Gamecocks."
Dr. DeOrio took it upon himself to educate his patient on the importance of biological sex in medical treatment.
When Wallace talked about "freedom," he was definitely referring to the liberation of coming out as trans.
"Who does this Jesus think he is?" shouted an angry Biden.
The move was announced after careful deliberation by the RNC in coordination with top GOP leaders.
According to sources, Buttigieg still has 38 months of paid maternity leave available should he need it.
"Calling it an invasion would be racist and xenophobic. Are you racist and xenophobic?"
Though Biden is expected to challenge Trump's unwelcome possession of the White House, legal experts suggest it is unlikely to succeed.
This is the first time a former president has threatened to trigger one if the election doesn't go the way he thinks it should.
Gemini drew millions of iterations before finally settling on the perfect image of the historic Saint Patrick.
"'Cars go vroom! Vroom, bbbrrraaa-vroom!' We can put any questions left about his mental fitness to rest."
