Humor
675 pieces filed under this topic.
4D Chess: Trump Guarantees Republican Victory in Midterms by Renaming Democrats ‘Republicans’
Trump shrewdly threw a wrench in the gears and all but ensured a GOP win.
Delta to Remove All Electrical Systems From Planes After Learning Elon’s Teslas Run on Electricity
“We will not be associated with anything related to Elon Musk, and if that includes electricity, so be it.”
Mamdani Announces New Plan to Fight Antisemitism by Locking His Wife in a Closet
“I promise I will keep her there until the end of my term. She can’t hurt you now.”
Trump Announces Plan to Gift Iran a Giant Wooden Horse
“It’s just a tremendous horse. Really terrific. They’re going to love it.”
10 Ways Trump Made Xi Feel at Home in The White House
An after-dinner fortune cookie with a special message inside: “You will find happiness in a new trade agreement with reduced tariffs.”
Trump Prepares for Dinner With President Xi by Ordering Servants to Slaughter the Fattened Cat
“It’s going to be a feast like you wouldn’t believe,” said Trump.
United Nations Still Demanding to Be Taken Seriously
The average American was surprised to learn that the United Nations still existed.
Man Comforted by Knowledge That A.I. Will Destroy Humanity Before AOC Can Become President
“All my worries just melted away.”
CNN Sues Trump for Violating Its First Amendment Right to Fabricate News
“He has no right to keep us from making things up,” said CNN personality Kaitlan Collins.
Democrats Promise That if Elected, Every Voter Will Give Them $5,000
Nothing motivates Democrats more than promising to take away people’s hard-earned money.
House of Representatives Goes on Break After Long, Hard Stretch of Not Working
Mike Johnson confirmed that weeks of constant thumb-twiddling had left representatives exhausted and in dire need of a vacation.
Mitch McConnell Returns to Senate as Force Ghost
McConnell’s colleagues said it was a relief to see his Force ghost appear to them to guide them during this dark time.
Trump Promises to Bring Back $5 Footlongs if Republicans Win
“There will be so many affordable footlongs, believe me,” Trump told reporters.
Climate Activists Blame Global Warming for Zero Hurricanes Forming in Atlantic This Year
According to climate activists, no hurricanes might seem good until you realize fewer people are being killed by them.
Nation Votes to Remove Massachusetts
“Honestly, we had it coming,” Massachusetts resident Katie Smith admitted.
Sad: Kathy Hochul Tries to Warn People Republicans Will Take Away Women’s Rights, but Her Mouth Is Covered by Hijab
“Huh. Wonder what she’s saying under there,” said local man Hamza Malik.
The Babylon Bee Guide to Boomer Slang
Here is a brief but helpful introductory guide to boomer phrases and what they mean.
Tim Walz to Head Up Vikings Cheerleader Squad
“I know this is Minnesota and I’m supposed to be progressive, but this is too much,” said Vikings fan Tom Chris.
Trump Names Harrison Ford as 2nd-Greatest President in History
“He was tremendous, almost as tremendous as I am,” Trump told reporters in the Oval Office.
Trump Says Grocery Bills Should Drop After He Renames a Few More Things ‘America’
“The cost of groceries will fall like you won’t believe.”