Humor
689 pieces filed under this topic.
Socialists Condemn Elon Musk for Redistributing Wealth
“Only the government should have the power to redistribute wealth.”
Ilhan Omar Starting to Regret Hiring Immigration Attorney From Quality Citizeship Center
“Quality Citizeship Center promises that all their lawyers come from best ‘lawyer learing centers’ in the state.”
Ilhan Omar Furiously Denies Immigration Fraud Charges, Says She Only Married Brother for Love
“If Kentuckians can marry their cousins, why can’t I marry my brother?”
Nation of France Films Massive Campaign Ad for Republicans
“We really didn’t expect this level of support from the French.”
Abdul El-Sayed Issues Fatwa Against Journalists Who Ask Questions About His Support for Terrorism
“May Allah grant us victory against these infidels.”
Kamala Harris Demands Abolishment of Electoral College and Also Popular Vote and Also Anything Else She Could Lose
“Everything that keeps me from winning should be eliminated.”
9 Things DHS Found in Raid of Ilhan Omar’s House
What agents recovered at the scene will shock you to your very core.
God Pushes Up Date of Apocalypse After Seeing Greta Gerwig’s ‘Narnia’ Trailer
The trailer assured fans that she would be ripping the soul out of Lewis’s work and dancing on its grave to high-powered classic rock music.
10 Best Reasons to Vote for Democrats in the Midterms
You long for how great things were during the Biden administration: Those were the days.
French Frantically Search Rioting Mob for Someone to Surrender To
“We’re currently having trouble finding anyone to accept our capitulation.”
Palestinians Finally Granted Own Country
“What a remarkable moment for the Palestinian people, seeing their flag raised over the Arc de Triomphe.”
Young, Attractive Blonde Woman Somehow Manages to Land Job at Fox News
“Everyone’s astonished she landed there, of all places.”
Authorities Now Believe FlyDubai Copilot Radicalized by Watching Ms. Rachel Videos
“This is why stopping terrorism has become so much harder in the modern age.”
Letitia James Indicts Trump in Cornell Case
“I know he’s to blame somehow,” James told the media.
4D Chess: Trump Guarantees Republican Victory in Midterms by Renaming Democrats ‘Republicans’
Trump shrewdly threw a wrench in the gears and all but ensured a GOP win.
Delta to Remove All Electrical Systems From Planes After Learning Elon’s Teslas Run on Electricity
“We will not be associated with anything related to Elon Musk, and if that includes electricity, so be it.”
Mamdani Announces New Plan to Fight Antisemitism by Locking His Wife in a Closet
“I promise I will keep her there until the end of my term. She can’t hurt you now.”
Trump Announces Plan to Gift Iran a Giant Wooden Horse
“It’s just a tremendous horse. Really terrific. They’re going to love it.”
10 Ways Trump Made Xi Feel at Home in The White House
An after-dinner fortune cookie with a special message inside: “You will find happiness in a new trade agreement with reduced tariffs.”
Trump Prepares for Dinner With President Xi by Ordering Servants to Slaughter the Fattened Cat
“It’s going to be a feast like you wouldn’t believe,” said Trump.