Humor
703 pieces filed under this topic.
Republicans Glad to Now Have Excuse for Not Getting Anything Done
“I don’t credit the Republicans for much, but we’ve been very impressed by how little they accomplished,” said Sen. Chuck Schumer.
Texas Adds Stars to State Flag to Represent All Six Genders
“Goodbye, Lone Star. Hello, inclusion,” said Talarico, unveiling the new flag design.
Heartbroken Eric Swalwell Learns Chinese Intelligence Has Been Seeing Other People
“This is really a kick in the gut. I really thought we had something special.”
Promises Kept: Democrats Deliver on Affordability by Making Stocks Way Cheaper
“In just 48 hours, we managed to cut the price of stocks by a collective $2.9 trillion.”
Millions of Texans Seen Crossing Rio Grande Into Mexico
“It’s not going to be safe to live here,” said Fort Worth resident Chris Wilson.
Problem Solved: Elon Musk Has Bought the United States
“I got a good deal due to all of the outstanding debt, which I will now pay off with whatever I happen to find under my couch cushions.”
Idiot King Forgets to Cancel Election
Trump went to bed sobbing, knowing deep in his heart he would go down in history as the worst king America had ever had.
Sad: Democrat Running Out of Space to Put Her ‘I Voted’ Stickers
“Where am I going to fit 46 more stickers on my outfit? No one is experiencing more injustice than me right now.”
Gavin Newsom Says Democrats Would Never Intentionally Subvert Election Process and Also He’s Legally Changed His Name to Donald J. Trump
“It’s a new me, for a new era.”
Duolingo Introduces ‘Kamala Harris’ as Its Newest Language
“Ever wondered what it means to ‘think of what can be, unburdened by what has been’? Now, you can know!”
Democrats Announce Counteroffer of $1,000,001 to Not Report Voter Fraud
“We are offering one dollar more if you will keep your yapper shut.”
Riots Fizzle Out as French Refuse to Protest More Than 32 Hours Per Week
“We deserve to have our demands met regardless of how long we riot for.”
After Late-Night Ballot Drop, Joe Biden Wins Brazilian Presidency With 81 Million Votes
“I don’t want to come off as an election denier, but I can’t help but feel like there’s something fishy here.”
LGBTQ+ to Add ‘S’ for Sibling
“With one of our nation’s congresswomen being outed for marrying her brother, it’s high time we recognize the beautiful subset of our community.”
Socialists Condemn Elon Musk for Redistributing Wealth
“Only the government should have the power to redistribute wealth.”
Ilhan Omar Starting to Regret Hiring Immigration Attorney From Quality Citizeship Center
“Quality Citizeship Center promises that all their lawyers come from best ‘lawyer learing centers’ in the state.”
Ilhan Omar Furiously Denies Immigration Fraud Charges, Says She Only Married Brother for Love
“If Kentuckians can marry their cousins, why can’t I marry my brother?”
Nation of France Films Massive Campaign Ad for Republicans
“We really didn’t expect this level of support from the French.”
Abdul El-Sayed Issues Fatwa Against Journalists Who Ask Questions About His Support for Terrorism
“May Allah grant us victory against these infidels.”
Kamala Harris Demands Abolishment of Electoral College and Also Popular Vote and Also Anything Else She Could Lose
“Everything that keeps me from winning should be eliminated.”