James Comey is a dirty, smarmy, sniveling rat.

There. We said it.

The disgraced former FBI director claims to have “a higher loyalty” to the institution of justice than to, say, a sitting president. Heck, he wrote a book about this supposed higher loyalty of his. And it’d be a great line if only it were true. But let’s get real: James Comey’s highest loyalty of all is to himself.

One would think this guy might’ve been better served by just going home; just taking the “L” and slinking away. But no. Having joined his corrupt colleagues — John Brennan, James Clapper, Andrew McCabe, and Peter Strzok — in penning self-serving memoirs about their brief experiences with Donald Trump, Comey has kept a public profile, popping up here and there to denounce Republicans and defend his actions as the FBI director who more than any single person is responsible for the bureau’s precipitous fall from grace.

That’s the thing about narcissists: They just can’t stop talking.

And these days, Comey is talking about his new book, a fictional novel titled Central Park West. (We know what you’re thinking: Wasn’t his memoir a work of fiction? And, yes, it was, but this latest book is actually labeled as fiction.)

Unfortunately, though, no one wants to talk to him about his new book. Instead, they want to talk to him about the damning Durham Report and about the once and perhaps future American president, Donald Trump.

Not even the friendlies at MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” wanted to help him sell his book. Asked about the Durham Report and its findings, and whether he acknowledges that just maybe perhaps possibly some passive-construction mistakes were made along the way, he said: “Oh, definitely. They were found four years ago by the inspector general. There is nothing new in this new document.”

Nope, nothingtoseeheremovealong. The 306-page document that no less a Trump-hater than CNN’s Jake Tapper conceded is “devastating to the FBI and to a degree, it does exonerate Donald Trump” has nothing new in it.

“This was an operation, not an investigation,” said former U.S. Attorney Brett Tolman about Crossfire Hurricane, which was the substance of the Durham Report’s years-long investigation. But nothing new here — at least not to an unrepentant James Comey.

Comey also lamented the damage that had been done to the FBI by the “lies about the FBI acting as some kind of ‘thug army.’” Perhaps he should’ve considered such things while he was leaking classified documents to the press and leading the bureau’s descent into rank political partisanship.

Comey then provided a public service to the deep state by warning MSNBC’s dozens of morning viewers about the prospect of Trump’s return to the White House:

I think he poses a near-existential threat to the rule of law. He will do everything he can in a new term to try to tear down the institutions that he sees as threats and to dismantle them and the people who occupy them, the a-political people who occupy by them. So there is a lot on the ballot in 2024 if he is a candidate, but the rule of law, in my view, is at the top of the list.

Got that? The guy who oversaw a corrupt years-long spying operation by our intelligence services on the Republican Party’s presidential candidate and his staff; the guy who signed off on FISA warrants predicated on doctored evidence and a politically generated pack of lies known as the Steele dossier; the guy who testified under oath before House Judiciary and Oversight committee members and told them on 245 separate occasions “I don’t know” or “I don’t remember” or “I don’t recall” — yes, that guy says Rule of Law is at the top of his list.

We can’t make this stuff up.

Comey wasn’t done with his apolitical politicking, though. “It has to be Joe Biden,” he told former Biden Press Secretary Jen Psaki in a Sunday interview. “The president must be someone who abides the law and our Constitution, and there’s no one else but Joe Biden.”

Yep, when it comes to Rule of Law, there’s no one else but the Biden Crime Family.

Comey also noted that Trump could be “wearing an ankle bracelet while accepting the nomination at the Republican convention.” In a perfect world, of course, James Comey would be wearing an ankle bracelet right now.

Suffice it to say that we don’t plan on reading Comey’s latest work of fiction, but the first paragraph of his aforementioned memoir is its best one. There, he writes: “Who am I to tell others what ethical leadership is? Anyone claiming to write a book about ethical leadership can come across as presumptuous, even sanctimonious. All the more so if that author happens to be someone who was quite memorably and publicly fired from his last job.”

We wish he’d stopped writing right there. It would’ve saved us the 50 cents we paid for his book at the thrift store.