Braying Jenny

“Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. saw the future as a future of equity, justice, and opportunity for all. As we honor him today, it’s on us to carry out his work.” —Kamala Harris, who won’t carry on his work because she substitutes “equity” for “equality”

Delusions of Grandeur

“I’ve traveled the world more than any president ever has. I know every major world leader. I know them by their first name. Guess what? Every single one of them, they look at us and say, ‘You’ve got to hang on.’” —Joe Biden

Dumb & Dumber

“We’re ready to provide the American people with a stark contrast between the president, who’s fighting for more freedom and more democracy, and these MAGA extremists led by Donald Trump who want to tear down the fabric of American democracy.” —Biden campaign communications director Michael Tyler

“I don’t think I’m being hyperbolic by saying this next election is about whether or not we can have elections in this country as we know it.” —Pennsylvania State Rep. Malcolm Kenyatta (D)

For the Record

“If Joe Biden were, as a matter of the principle, devoted to defending democracy at all costs, the first thing he would do would be to step aside for some younger, more capable, less radioactive Democrat with a much better chance of beating Trump.” —Rich Lowry

Keen Sense of the Obvious

“It is very hard for young people, I think for most Americans, to be excited about what is going on right now.” —Senator Bernie Sanders (VT)

Can’t Fix Stupid

“No.” —President Joe Biden when asked, “Would you call the situation on the southern border a ‘crisis’?”

Missing the Forest for the Trees

“There are plenty of other cities where, if [Texas Governor Greg Abbott] is going to send people, they could be sent — but no, he’s choosing only Democratic states, Democratic cities.” —Illinois Governor J.B. Pritzker

The BIG Lies

“I’ve been pushing … my Republican colleagues — since I got into office. I think we have to make major changes at the border. I’ve been pushing it.” —Joe Biden

“They’re trying to ban Charlotte’s Web here in Iowa.” —Minnesota Governor Tim Walz

“The idea that you can be told that you can’t read certain books. This is the United States of America… These guys are afraid of the truth.” —Joe Biden

“The economy is going great under President Biden. We’ve added 14 million jobs. It’s been 4% inflation or less for 23 months now. And so why do [Republicans] want to try to wreck the economy? I don’t get it.” —Congressman Jamie Raskin (D-MD)

“[Americans] are feeling much better about how the economy is doing. What we haven’t done is letting them know exactly who got it changed.” —Joe Biden

“Facts are stubborn things. We have 14 million jobs created under this president. … Core inflation [is] lower than what it was before President Biden got into office.” —Malcolm Kenyatta

Non Compos Mentis

“When you want to call and check the balance on your account, they charge $30. Is that fair? Is that fair? These junk fees?” —Joe Biden

Lack of Self-Awareness

“One of the things we’re doing now is making sure that we’re reaching out — reaching out to the rest of the world and making sure that we demonstrate to the American people that ‘we the people’ run the government, not a group of wealthy guys, not a group of people who are trying to pit race against race.” —Joe Biden

Belly Laughs of the Day

“You don’t have to necessarily agree with Joe Biden, but he respects the electoral process. He tries to not disenfranchise people.” —Tim Walz

“I call my members on the Oversight Committee the truth squad because they are devoted to getting the truth out there.” —Jamie Raskin