Non Compos Mentis

“[François] Mitterrand from Germany — I mean, from France — looked at me and … said, ‘What would you say, Mr. President, if you picked up the paper tomorrow in the London Times, and London Times said, 'A thousand people break through the House of Commons, break down the doors, two Bobbies are killed in order to stop the election of the Prime Minister’?” —Joe Biden in a bizarre G7 Summit ghost claim that he had a conversation about the January 6 Capitol riot with Mitterrand, who has not been president of France since 1995

“Helmut Kohl of Germany looked at me and said, ‘What would you say, Mr. President, if you picked up The London Times tomorrow morning and learned that 1,000 people had broken down the doors, the doors of the British Parliament, and killed some [people] on the way in [to] deny the prime minister to take office?’” —Joe Biden in a bizarre G7 Summit ghost claim that he had a conversation about the January 6 Capitol riot with Kohl, who has not been chancellor of Germany since 1988

Demagogues

“We want [Republicans] to pass the border bill, and if they vote against [it], America will know who is for fixing the border and who is not.” —Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY)

“It’s incredible to me that instead of extreme MAGA Republicans pivoting to working with us in a commonsense way to solve real problems for the American people, their focus is on, ‘How do we get Steve Scalise back to Washington so we can continue to do the bidding of Marjorie Taylor Greene and Donald Trump and impeach Secretary Mayorkas?’” —House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

Race Bait

“When you talk about impeachment, a White House official pointed out that in the impeachment report, it says, ‘The committee, through these articles of impeachment, begins the process of deporting Secretary Mayorkas from his position.’ You know, I think it’s not subtle the fact that Secretary Mayorkas is the first immigrant … to serve as a DHS secretary.” —CNN’s Phil Mattingly

A Broken Clock Is Right Twice a Day

“You’re getting migrants beating up policemen in the streets of New York. … We’re looking every day at the invasion of migrants.” —Al Sharpton

Belly Laugh of the Day

“Actually, Joe Biden at his age is so — he has a big vision for our country. He brings the wisdom, the knowledge, the judgment of age, as well as experience. He knows how to get things done. He’s a legislator, not a person to hold things up. And he has a big heart of empathy for the American people.” —Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi (D-CA)

Useful Idiot

“How … can the United States condemn Russia’s indiscriminate bombing of civilians in Ukraine as a war crime, and yet fund Netanyahu’s war machine which has killed 1000s of children?” —Senator Bernie Sanders (VT)

“[The U.S.] criticize[s] the terrible human rights records in China, Iran, and other authoritarian countries, but ignore[s] the human rights of Palestinians.” —Bernie Sanders

For the Record

“When [Ronna] McDaniel took over [at the RNC], Trump was about to be inaugurated, there were 52 Republican senators and 246 Republican members of the House, and 4,205 of the 7,383 state legislative seats (almost 57 percent) were held by Republicans. Today, Biden is president, there are 49 Republican senators and 219 Republican members of the House, and 4,022 of the 7,383 state legislative seats (54.4 percent) are held by Republicans. Filings with the Federal Election Commission indicate that the RNC begins 2024 with just over $8 million in cash on hand, the lowest since 1993, adjusted for inflation. The Democratic National Committee begins the year with $24 million on hand.” —Jim Geraghty

“For years, liberal presidents have informed a recalcitrant public that they hold unitary power to impose the latest progressive scheme — to establish equity, legalize Dreamers, reduce climate change, or any of a dozen other left-wing goals. Yet suddenly, when the southern border is overwhelmed, when cities are filled with homeless migrants, when drugs and gangs and individuals on the terror watchlist are entering the United States, the president is helpless. A wreck. He needs Congress to bail him out. Odd.” —Matthew Continetti

“Things are becoming so strange, so surreal, so nihilistic in contemporary America that the chaos can only be deliberate. Chance, incompetence, and accident could not alone explain the series of disasters we now daily witness that are nearly destroying the country.” —Victor Davis Hanson

And Last…

“The security guard we hired to protect our home has been letting people inside the home to loot our stuff. He just came to us and demanded a raise and if we give him one, he promises to let fewer people in to loot our stuff. That’s the border bill.” —Jesse Kelly

“So you guys talk a lot … about how the border wouldn’t to be such a big deal if Congress would have just passed the immigration bill on day one. Who was in charge of Congress on day one?” —journalist Peter Doocy to White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre