Can’t Fix Stupid

“I do believe that states should be able under our Constitution to bar oath-breaking insurrectionists. … Ultimately, it will be up to the American voters to save our democracy in November.” —Colorado Secretary of State Jena Griswold

“I am working with a number of my colleagues … to revive legislation that we had to set up a process by which we could determine that someone who committed insurrection is disqualified.” —Congressman Jamie Raskin (D-MD)

“The Supreme Court has betrayed democracy. Its members including Jackson, Kagan and Sotomayor have proved themselves inept at reading comprehension. And collectively the ‘court’ has shown itself to be corrupt and illegitimate. It must be dissolved.” —former MSNBC host Keith Olbermann

Theater of the Absurd

“The right to vote is still under attack. And that is why the Justice Department is fighting back. … That is why we are challenging efforts by states and jurisdictions to implement discriminatory, burdensome, and unnecessary restrictions on access to the ballot, including those related to mail-in voting, the use of drop boxes, and voter ID requirements.” —Attorney General Merrick Garland

“In Georgia, extremists passed a law to even make it illegal to give people food and water for standing in line to exercise their civic duty and right to vote.” —Kamala Harris

The BIG Lies

“Today, extremists pass book bans … while they also try to erase, overlook, and rewrite the ugly parts of our past.” —Kamala Harris

“I did not interact with [Hunter and James Biden’s] partners.” —Joe Biden

“We need more forces on the border. I don’t have the authority to do that.” —Joe Biden

“There certainly is no evidence of a high crime or misdemeanor in any respect in the performance of Secretary Mayorkas.” —Senator Dick Durbin (D-IL)

Baghdad Bob

“When Governor Abbott chooses to use migrants as political pawns and leave them by the side of the road in the dead of winter, he shows Republicans are more interested in politics than solutions.” —White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre

“That is so false. [Biden] has taken action. He has taken action. Republicans rejected it because of the last president. … Republicans told on themselves and said that the former president told them to not move forward with the bipartisan Border Patrol deal.” —Karine Jean-Pierre

Useful Idiots

“Netanyahu … seems sort of hellbent to continue this terribly-destructive-to-civilian-life battle in Gaza.” —Senator Tina Smith (D-MN)

“Given the immense scale of suffering in Gaza, there must be an immediate ceasefire.” —Kamala Harris

Gaslighting

“We need to make sure people understand the good that is coming their way because of the president’s leadership and because of their work.” —Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg

“I think the president is an incredibly compelling figure. And I would hope that the White House will send him out all over the country to just be who he is.” —Senator Chris Murphy (D-CT)

“We have to lift up that Joe Biden is working on the real issues that the American people care about. He is working towards peace, and Donald Trump is openly xenophobic, openly anti-Muslim, and would do nothing to actually address the real issues that the American people care about.” —Biden campaign spokesperson Kevin Munoz

“Remember that Joe Biden is handling the complexities of the world. … The man is doing yeoman work.” —Illinois Governor JB Pritzker

Belly Laughs of the Day

“[Biden] believes in going across the aisle and working in a bipartisan way.” —Karine Jean-Pierre

“The president has done more in three years in this administration than most president has done in two terms.” —Karine Jean-Pierre

For the Record

“Joe Biden campaigned on open borders. He campaigned on saying: ‘I will not deport people. I will not enforce our laws.’ And as president, that may be the only campaign promise he has honored.” —Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX)