Shot/Chaser

“We are constantly and will continuously look at all options to try and really deal with the immigration system.” —White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre

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“The message of President Biden’s executive order: you can enter our country illegally, just make sure you’re one of the first few thousand each day to do so.” —Senator Deb Fischer (R-NE)

“He really could have used his authority all along. We all know that. And yet he chose to do absolutely nothing about it.” —Senator Joni Ernst (R-IA)

“Bottom line: Never trust a man whose uncle was eaten by cannibals.” —Joni Ernst

Useful Idiot

“The answer is it’s uncertain.” —Joe Biden when asked, “Have Israeli forces committed war crimes in Gaza?”

“There is every reason for people to draw that conclusion.” —Joe Biden when asked, “Some in Israel have suggested that Netanyahu is prolonging the war for his own political self-preservation. Do you believe that?”

Braying Jenny

“They’re talking about revenge and I think that that’s dangerous. [Trump’s] even mentioned civil war at one point, talked about there would be bloodshed. I am going to spend some time with the criminal justice system, with the justice system, asking them, ‘Tell us what’s going on with the domestic terrorists. Are they preparing a civil war against us? Should we be concerned about our safety? What is he doing with this divisive language?’” —Congresswoman Maxine “You Tell Them They’re Not Welcome” Waters (D-CA)

Belly Laugh of the Day

“There is only one tier of justice. … We don’t give any benefit to a powerful person over a non-powerful person, any benefit to a Democrat over a Republican.” —Attorney General Merrick Garland

Gaslighting

“The president of the United States has been working to lower costs.” —Biden campaign co-chair Mitch Landrieu

For the Record

“Competence matters. [M]ore than 90% of Biden’s top economic and finance team has NO experience running a business. We have an energy secretary who knows nothing about energy and a transportation secretary who knows nothing about transportation. They are lawyers, academics, politicians or government employees.” —Stephen Moore

“Big-box stores have an advantage over independent grocers because of their buying power, giving them an advantage to lower prices over the mom-and-pop grocers. In an era where inflationary costs are causing consumers to look for bargains anywhere they can to stay within budget, loyalty to a local store suffers.” —Salena Zito

Upright

“Biden is making the practically blasphemous claim that the ‘image of God’ means changing your biological makeup. God created male and female. It’s right there in the book of Genesis. The image of God doesn’t require surgical mutilation. God created order. Anything else is disordered and needs redemption, not affirmation or celebration.” —Nate Jackson

Re: The Left

“What makes [Anthony] Fauci such a despicable figure in American life is that he greedily became the ultimate metaphor for the pseudo-intellectual elite that have taken control of our modern society, and therefore part of the reason why trust in institutions and scientific reason have nosedived. For Fauci, it was never about ‘the science,’ but the cult of celebrity.” —Ian Haworth

“The people who are coming for [Samuel] Alito want to judicially neuter him, not because they think he’s a bad justice but for precisely the opposite reason: they can’t attack his actual jurisprudence.” —Christine Flowers

And Last…

“Thank God our celebrated transportation secretary … wasn’t in charge of the Normandy landing.” —Stephen Moore

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Follow Jordan Candler on X/Twitter.