Non Compos Mentis

“That’s what he is. [Speaker Mike Johnson] is dead on arrival.” —Joe Biden

The BIG Lies

“[The RNC] tried to paint this narrative that … immigration is a driver of crime. That was the real message — immigration leads to crime. … Crime went down under Biden and crime went up under Trump. … Why would America want to go back to the higher crime that we experienced under Donald Trump?” —Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg

“The Supreme Court’s 6-3 decision on July 1 to grant presidents broad immunity from prosecution for crimes they commit in office means there are virtually no limits on what a president can do.” —Joe Biden

Dumb & Dumber

“President Biden and I are calling on Congress to pass important reforms — from imposing term limits for Justices’ active service, to requiring Justices to comply with binding ethics rules just like every other federal judge. And finally, in our democracy, no one should be above the law. So we must also ensure that no former President has immunity for crimes committed while in the White House. These popular reforms will help to restore confidence in the Court, strengthen our democracy, and ensure no one is above the law.” —Kamala Harris

“The Supreme Court is a morass. First, it’s an ethical morass. … But it’s a morass in even a worse way. This is a MAGA right-wing Court. ” —Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-CA)

Belly Laughs of the Day

“The Biden-Harris record is just incredible.” —Sen. Chuck Schumer

“Kamala Harris … is the most qualified individual to run for president — in fact, more qualified than the last four presidents.” —New York Attorney General Letitia James

Hot Air

“The transition to a lower-carbon global economy … will require no less than $3 trillion in new capital from many sources each year between now and 2050.” —Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen

Re: The Left

“There was a time when Democrats sounded like Donald Trump on immigration. But those days are gone. Kamala Harris comes out of the new Democrat Party, which is all in on dangerous open borders and massive illegal immigration to replace America’s current population.” —Gary Bauer