Double Standards

“Former President Donald Trump’s vow to stop taxing tips would cost the federal government up to $250 billion over 10 years, according to a nonpartisan watchdog group.” —CBS News, June 17

“Vice President Kamala Harris is rolling out a new policy position, saying she’ll fight to end taxes on tips for service and hospitality workers.” —CBS News, August 12

“Tone Down the Rhetoric”

“Some [Republicans], I just say: ‘We’re out to get you. You’re dead.’” —Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi (D-CA)

World’s Smallest Violin

“These guys are even attacking me for my record of service.” —Democrat VP pick Tim “Stolen Valor” Walz

“I firmly believe you should never denigrate another person’s service record.” —Tim Walz

Don’t Believe Your Lying Eyes

“[Kamala] Harris … goes to work every single day to make sure families don’t just get by, but they get ahead.” —Tim Walz

Baghdad Bob

“Violent crime has plunged to its lowest ever in almost 50 years.” —White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre

Belly Laugh of the Day

“America is doing great. … We’re stronger than ever economically. We’re stronger than ever militarily. We’re stronger than ever culturally.” —MSNBC’s Joe Scarborough

For the Record

“[Harris] said she’s going to tackle the affordability crisis affecting American families on Day One. Think about that. Kamala, Day One was January of 2021. Day One was four years ago!” —GOP VP nominee JD Vance

“Everything about her campaign is fake. … It’s a fake ticket that never earned a single Democrat primary vote. It’s a fake platform that offers no specifics … and a fake promise to change the government, even though she’s been in charge of that very government for almost four years.” —JD Vance

And Last…

“Kamala Harris promising to secure the border is like O.J. Simpson promising to find the real killer.” —Senator Tom Cotton (R-AR)