Praetorian Guard

“The president put Vice President Kamala Harris in playing [sic] a critical role in terms of trying to stop the flow of migrants across the border.” —ABC News’s Jon Karl, 2023

“She wasn’t the border czar.” —Jon Karl, 2024

The BIG Lie

“The Media’s Double Standard Favors Donald Trump, Not Kamala Harris.” —Intelligencer columnist Jonathan Chait

Grand Delusions

“Tim Walz is a pragmatic guy. … And I think some of the wonderful things he’s done in Minnesota resonate with, you know, Americans in all states.” —Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer

Word Salad

“Our election is about understanding the importance of this beautiful country of ours in terms of what we stand for around the globe as a democracy. As a democracy. We know there’s a duality to the nature of democracy. On the one hand, incredible strength when it is intact. What it does for its people to protect and defend their rights, their liberty, and their freedom. Incredibly strong — and incredibly fragile.” —Kamala Harris

Friendly Fire

“When your opponent calls you ‘communist,’ maybe don’t propose price controls?” —Washington Post columnist Catherine Rampell

“The times demand serious economic ideas. Harris supplies gimmicks.” —Washington Post editorial board

“This is not sensible policy, and I think the biggest hope is that it ends up being a lot of rhetoric and no reality. There’s no upside here, and there is some downside.” —former Obama economic adviser Jason Furman

For the Record

“Kamala Harris just promised to build 3 million new homes in four years. But in nearly three years since passing $7.5 billion for EV charging stations, they’ve built eight.” —Joel Pollak

“Kamala Harris is randomly picking half of her policies from the Communist Manifesto and the other half from Trump’s platform.” —Ian Haworth

“Giving Kamala Harris control over inflation policy … it’s like giving Jeffrey Epstein control over human trafficking policy.” —JD Vance

“Harris-Walz has all the seriousness and intellectual depth of a high school student council campaign to ‘abolish homework, tests, classes, and grades.’” —Buck Sexton

“Kamala Harris is an empty suit. They are trying to create this new version of Kamala Harris to match what their pollsters are telling them so she can say whatever she needs to say to try to win over voters, which is the most offensive thing, I think, because they think we’re so stupid as to forget what her record actually is. … Kamala Harris will say whatever she thinks she needs to say.” —former Congresswoman Tulsi Gabbard (HI)

Belly Laugh of the Day

“There is going to be so much love for Joe Biden. There’s going to be tears of joy. … He literally saved our democracy in the U.S.” —Senator Amy Klobuchar (D-MN)