Grand Delusions

“We have to defeat a person who is a threat to our democracy of the kind that we have not seen. At the beginning of our country, Thomas Paine said that times have found us — declare war, establish a new nation. Abraham Lincoln took up that charge to keep our country together years later, decades later, and now the times have found us to save our democracy.” —Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi (D-CA)

Delusions of Grandeur

“On January 20, 2021, with the inauguration of Joe Biden and Kamala Harris, we established one of the most successful presidencies of modern times.” —Rep. Nancy Pelosi

“We could not have asked for a better leader to partner with than President Joseph Robinette Biden, who will go down as one of the most consequential presidents of all time.” —House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

“[Biden] did something that’s really hard for a politician to do: He voluntary gave up political power. And George Washington knew that and he did it. And he set the standard for us serving two terms before it was mandatory. It helped his legacy, and it will enhance Joe Biden’s legacy.” —Bill Clinton

Lack of Self-Awareness Awards

“Democrats welcome weird, but we’re not weirdos.” —Colorado Governor Jared Polis

“[Republicans will] start jacking up the cost on the middle class.” —Democrat VP nominee Tim Walz

The BIG Lies

“Kamala Harris is going to cut your taxes.” —Tim Walz

“Kamala Harris and House Democrats will lower costs and grow the middle class. Kamala Harris and House Democrats will fix our broken immigration system and secure the border. Kamala Harris and House Democrats will strengthen the relationship between the police and the community.” —Rep. Hakeem Jeffries

“For 20 years, Kamala Harris has been tough as nails when it comes to securing our border.” —Senator Chris Murphy (D-CT)

“Kamala and I … worked to protect our southern border.” —Senator Catherine Cortez Masto (D-NV)

Dumb & Dumber

“Instead of the MAGA movement, we’re going to start the MAMMA movement — that is Make America Michigan and Minnesota Again.” —Senator Amy Klobuchar (D-MN)

“I had 24 kids in my high school class and none of them went to Yale.” —Tim Walz

Demagogue

“It’s not freedom to tell our children what books they’re allowed to read.” —Pennsylvania Governor Josh Shapiro

Sexism Bait

“The guys don’t require any qualifications. They just step up and run. … Women should not have to have the greatest résumé in the world to start getting into the game.” —New York Governor Kathy Hochul

Belly Laugh of the Day

“We examine cases based on facts and based on evidence, not based on politics.” —New York Attorney General Letitia James

For the Record

“I think the Democrats want people to vote for [Harris] based on a vibe or an attitude and not really think all that hard about what it would mean to implement the kind of policy agenda that she has mostly stood for in her career. And … there may not be a debate about who can be more joyful, but there has to be a debate about who can get the country back on the right track when three-quarters think it’s off on the wrong one.” —Republican strategist Scott Jennings

Inquiring Minds Want to Know

“If [Kamala Harris] has a plan to fix the mess she created, why hasn’t she already done it?” —Senator Tom Cotton (R-AR)