Upright

Commentator Charles Krauthammer: “The president now is toxic. The thing is called Obamacare. There’s no running away from it. It’s got his name on it. You see the president, you think about the policy and you know it’s a disaster.”

Demo-gogues

Barack Obama: “Nothing drives me more crazy than the fact that right now, there is great insurance to be had out there, choice and competition, where people can save money for a better product, except too many folks have not been able to get through the website. Now, this is like having a really good product in the store and the cash registers don’t work and there aren’t enough parking spots and nobody can get through the door. So we are working overtime to get this fixed.”

Village Idiots

Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services director Marilyn Tavenner: “[The "5%” of Americans receiving insurance termination notices] can choose a different plan being offered by their insurer or they can shop for coverage in the marketplace or outside the marketplace. As insurers have made clear, they are not dropping consumers; they’re improving their coverage options, often offering better-value plans with additional benefits.“

The BIG Lie

White House Press Secretary Jay Carney: "Immigration reform will reduce the deficit by $850 billion over the first 20 years. It’s good for the economy and the right thing to do. We hope the House will follow the Senate and take action.”

Braying Jackass

ESPN analyst Kevin Blackistone: “When you have military flyovers and the military symbolism that goes on in sports, I think you’ve got a problem.”

He also criticized singing the “war anthem” before games, by which he meant the national anthem.

Dezinformatsia

MSNBC’s Ed Schultz: “[W]hat do Christian values mean to Republicans? It’s just a stepping stone, a footstool, to get exactly what they want in the political arena. They hide behind their plastic Jesus, quite often.”

From the ‘Non Compos Mentis’ File

Texas Democrat candidate for governor Wendy Davis: “I am pro-life, I care about the life of every child. … I care about life and I have a record of fighting for people above all else.”

Of course, the new political star in the Lonestar State rocketed to fame for filibustering a bill to save the lives of babies older than 20 weeks gestation in the womb. And, after criticizing those who would seek political gain through abortion, she is now redefining the term “pro-life” for her own social justice ends.

Alpha Jackass

Activist Dan Savage: “There’s too many Godd— people on the planet. You know, I’m pro-choice, I believe that women should have a right to control their bodies. Sometimes in my darker moments, I’m anti-choice. I think abortion should be mandatory for about 30 years.”

Short Cuts

Comedian Jay Leno: “According to a new study out of Harvard, it is easier for people to be moral in the morning. They say people are more moral at the beginning of the day, but they become more dishonest as the day goes on. So when people say Congress is as dishonest as the day is long, we now have scientific proof.”