The American Recovery and Reinvestment Act, a.k.a. the “stimulus,” turns five today, so let’s take a look at the report card. Via The Washington Free Beacon, the 10 most ridiculous projects funded by Barack Obama’s bailout: “10) $1.3 Million for Stimulus Highway Signs”; “9) $152K to Get Lesbians Ready for ‘Adoptive Parenthood’”; “8) $600,000 to Plant Trees in Wealthy Neighborhoods”; “7) $384,949 Study of Duck Penises”; “6) $1.2 Million Study of Erectile Dysfunction in Overweight Men”; “5) $100,000 Anti-Capitalist Puppet Shows”; “4) $389,357 for College Students to Keep a Diary of Their Marijuana and Malt Liquor Use”; “3) $3.4 Million Turtle Tunnel”; “2) $8,408 Study to See if Mice Get Drunk”; and finally, “1) $535 Million on Solyndra.” Just remember that all this was necessary to save the economy, prevent the oceans from rising and result in general peace and harmony. None of that happened, but … oh, look – a drunk mouse!