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January 15, 2015

Take Down School Shooters With … Canned Food?

Which of these does a better job of dropping a gunman: bullets or beans? Granted, it’s a stupid question, but since when did anti-gun lefties make sense? According to one Alabama school, beans – or any other canned food item – make an excellent self-defense weapon. “As a result of school shootings throughout the United States and discussing with law enforcement on the best procedure to follow to keep our students safe, we are enhancing our procedure for intruders,” explained administrators of W.F. Burns Middle School in a letter to parents. “The procedure will be the same as we have done in the past with the addition of arming our students with a canned food item.” ‘Cause nothing scares a would-be shooter like a flying can of Green Giant green beans. The officials added, “We realize at first this may seem odd” – you don’t say? – “however, it is a practice that would catch an intruder off-guard.” Here’s a better idea: Arm teachers who can quickly and effectively alleviate the threat. Liberals like to talk about “common sense” reforms; that is, unless it involves putting guns in the hands of good guys. More…

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