For the record: “The Republican nervous breakdown is entirely self-inflicted. Understanding the House caucus is less Politics 101 than scorpions in a bottle. The right of the caucus hates and distrusts the leadership, while most of the rest of the caucus hates and distrusts the right, and no one has the standing to bring all sides together in a semblance of unity.” —Rich Lowry

Braying Jackass: “Our freedom allows bad people to create criminal enterprises and also allows madmen opportunities to commit atrocious crimes.” —Bill O'Reilly, seemingly blaming Liberty for crime

Braying Jenny: “The real answer to [gun control] is for gun owners to form a different organization that supports the Second Amendment, supports their rights to own guns, use guns, go hunting, goes target shooting, but stands against the absolutism of the NRA. You know, the NRA’s position reminds me of negotiating with the Iranians or the Communists.” —Hillary Clinton

Upright: “Luckily for gun owners, the more Democrats agitate for restrictive gun laws, the worse the Democrats do in polling. Beta male gun control policies may be winners on editorial pages, but are losers in our national electoral system.” —Erick Erickson

Friendly fire: “[Hillary Clinton’s] great liability in this race so far has been the sense that she is inauthentic — and that of course is one of Bernie Sanders’ strengths. And so, this lurch on this [Trans-Pacific Partnership] issue opens her up to another charge of inauthenticity.” —former Obama operative David Axelrod

Non Compos Mentis: “The people in Illinois were looking forward to having some [inmates from Guantanamo Bay] transferred there. They saw it as economic opportunity, as you may recall.” —Nancy Pelosi (Obama’s open borders policy already allows terrorists to waltz right through; what’s a few more from Gitmo?)


Village Idiots: “They’re giving me a lot of credit for [Kevin McCarthy ending his speaker bid] because I said you really need somebody very, very tough and very smart.” —Donald Trump

Late-night humor: “Vladimir Putin celebrated his 63rd birthday [this week]. He had a nice party, but it got awkward when two of his friends got him the same country.” —Jimmy Fallon