Insight: “In the process of gaining our rightful place we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline.” —Martin Luther King Jr. (Jan. 15, 1929 — April 4, 1968)

Upright: “Why on earth, you might well wonder, didn’t the Founding Fathers allow the popular vote to determine the [election] outcome? It’s because they, who had suffered under the rule of King George III, were constantly on the alert against despots, even when they happened to be in the majority. … Very wisely, as it turns out, they didn’t want those in predominantly urban states to have absolute supremacy over those that were rural. … So for all the high-sounding flapdoodle of one man/one vote or — in the case of Chicago — one corpse/one vote, the Founders knew better.” —Burt Prelutsky

The victim: “Look, I signed a pledge. [The GOP] wanted me to sign the pledge. And I’m the one that’s being discriminated against.” —Donald Trump

Braying Jenny: “Well, under our laws currently, that is not something that exists. The unborn person doesn’t have constitutional rights.” —Hillary Clinton (The only surprising thing here is that she used the word “person.”)

Alpha Jackass: “I do agree with the Secretary [Clinton]. I don’t believe there’s any constitutional protection for the unborn.” —Bernie Sanders

Non Compos Mentis: “There is a lot of frustration [about the economy], and frankly a lot of anger. Many people are feeling left out and left behind in our great country. … We need more good jobs with rising incomes because we fell back the last 15 years because of the terrible economic policies of George W. Bush.” —Hillary Clinton

Late-night humor: “Hillary Clinton said Republicans are trying to act like President Obama’s not still president. Also doing that: President Obama. He’s going to Cuba, doing the tango in Argentina. He’s basically checking off his bucket list.” —Jimmy Fallon