It defies statistical probability: The Government Accountability Office issued a report that found 99% of high-level government employees were rated good at their job in 2013. The government employees are rated on a five-tier performance scale. Three years ago, nearly two-thirds of government employees were declared either “outstanding” or “exceeds fully successful.”

But if everything is awesome, who’s to blame for all that dysfunction in government, all those employees that waste taxpayer’s money, put veterans on secret waiting lists and watch porn at work? The performance of only 0.1% of government employees was rated “Unacceptable” and 0.3% “Minimally successful.”

“Apparently the federal bureaucrats grading one another think virtually everyone who works for the government is doing a fantastic job,” Rep. Jeff Miller (R-FL) marveled. “But given the dysfunction we’ve seen throughout the federal government over the last several years, that can’t possibly be true. While most federal employees are dedicated and competent, everyone knows the government’s personnel system is rigged to protect those who can’t or won’t do their jobs.”

Indeed, to be sure, there are many government workers who do their jobs quite well. This isn’t to impugn them all. But what this GAO report shows is that incompetency isn’t just at the grunt level. Rather, there are levels upon levels of government employees who don’t know the kind of hard work found in the private sector, and yet they’re all slapping themselves on the back for a job well done.

(Edited.)