Insight: “They say the world has become too complex for simple answers. They are wrong. There are no easy answers, but there are simple answers. We must have the courage to do what we know is morally right.” —Ronald Reagan

For the record: “That Wall Street is panicking worse over WuFlu than it did in 2008 when it was revealed that the Wall Street-created securitized mortgage industry was a complete fraud tells you everything you need to know not about WuFlu, but about Wall Street. It’s completely absurd. By way of comparison: At this point in the 2009 H1N1 pandemic in the U.S. (roughly two months in), CDC estimated that a million people had already been infected in the U.S.” —Sean Davis

Non compos mentis: “Think about how the world would be if we tried to quarantine everyone because of the generic-type flu. Now I’m not saying this is the generic-type flu, but maybe we’d be just better off if we gave it to everybody and then in a month it would be over.” —CNBC editor Rick Santelli, who, to his credit, later said, “It was the dumbest, most ignorant stupid thing anybody could have ever said.”

D'oh! “We’re going to unite this party and unite this country. And folks who want to nominate a Democrat, a lifelong Democrat, a proud Democrat, an O'Biden-Bama Democrat, join us.” —Joe O'Biden

Total game-changer! “With the exception of Native Americans, African Americans are the people who are most behind socially and economically in the United States and our needs are not moderate. A people far behind cannot catch up choosing the most moderate path. The most progressive social and economic path gives us the best chance to catch up and Senator Bernie Sanders represents the most progressive path. That’s why I choose to endorse him today.” —Jesse Jackson

Braying jenny: “[My 2015 apology] turned out to be a mistake because look at all the oxygen it was sucking out of my campaign. But it didn’t end it. It didn’t end it at all.” —Hillary Clinton regarding her home-brew server

Trump Derangement Syndrome: “BREAKING: Trading was just halted at the New York Stock Exchange after it dropped almost 1,900 points this morning. Maybe if Trump didn’t spend the weekend on vacation it wouldn’t have been so bad. Guess we will never know. This is terrifying. Trump’s a failure.” —Democratic Coalition cofounder Scott Dworkin

And last… “Well, on the bright side, since more than half of Americans died from tax cuts, another half from health care reform, and another half from net neutrality, there really aren’t a ton of people left to spread COVID-19.” —Erick Erickson