Upright: “I’m not kneeling for the flag and screw anybody who have [sic] a problem with that. My grandmother was a[n] immigrant from the Caribbean and she worked her ass off to bring 20 people over the right way. She had no money and educated herself to be a nurse. She living good now.” —Pittsburgh Steelers defensive end Stephon Tuitt

For the record: “Y'all so blessed Janet Reno is no longer the captain. She would’ve firebombed Portland by now and salted the earth for good measure.” —Becket Adams

Observations: “The left has done to this country everything that they feared and dreaded Donald Trump would do when he was elected.” —Brandon Straka, founder of the WalkAway movement

Re: The Left: “My suggestion to the American people is start listening to the Democrats. … They talk about defunding the police. They talk about making excuses for violent mobs. Let’s take them at their word. They want to destroy the things that bring us together — our common bonds, our founding, our love of country.” —Rep. Dan Crenshaw

Self-solver: “It used to be in the old days, before this, you’d write a letter, and you’d say, ‘This letter is really bad.’ You’d put it in your desk, and you go back tomorrow, and you say, ‘Oh, I’m glad I didn’t send it.’ Right? But we don’t do that with Twitter. We put it out instantaneously. We feel great, and then you start getting phone calls, ‘Did you really say this?’” —Trump on his Twitter regrets (Memo to Mr. President: Find a pen, a piece of paper, and a desk drawer, and think about it tomorrow!)

Friendly fire I: “It’s like saying to somebody, ‘You have a bowl of s—t in front of you, and all you’ve got to do is eat half of it instead of the whole thing.’ It’s still s—t.‘” —ex-Bernie Sanders campaign co-chair Nina Turner on voting for Joe Biden

Friendly fire II: “How does breaking windows at a courthouse, setting fire to a federal building, firing guns in crowds, and committing acts of vandalism forward any cause? Actually, don’t bother because there is no good answer. It is self-destructive to any cause you promote.” —Joe Scarborough

Alpha jackass: “[Trump’s] an arsonist, not a fireman. He wants to stir violent protests to fuel his 'law and order’ campaign ads.” —David Axelrod

Non compos mentis: “The hard truth is women — and particularly women of color — have never had a fair shot to get ahead in this country. That’s why today, I’m releasing my plan to make sure women can fully participate in our economy and country.” —Joe Biden, mansplaining why women need a 77-year-old white man to help them

The BIG Lie: “‘Black-on-Black Crime’ Is a Dangerous Myth.” —Teen Vogue op-ed title

And last… “George Floyd was murdered 63 days ago. Since then, 63,000 black pre-born babies have been murdered by Planned Parenthood and abortionists in America. And Black Lives Matter supports that.” —Samuel Sey