Yes, there is a school in America that is teaching young first graders how to play … with themselves. No, this isn’t your local public school education curriculum. This is posh education, the kind you can only receive for $55,000 a year in Manhattan.

To give you a clear-cut perspective on Dalton School, look no further than the fact that CNN’s own Anderson Cooper is a graduate. Need I say more? Considered one of the city’s most elite academic mainstays, Dalton has been divided by that one thing that divides everything it touches: progressive politics. The leftists have done it again.

The tables have turned in such a way that an anonymous group of parents penned a letter objecting to Dalton’s direction in January.

“Every class this year has had an obsessive focus on race and identity, ‘racist cop’ reenactments in science, ‘de-centering whiteness’ in art class, learning about white supremacy and sexuality in health class,” the message stated. “Wildly inappropriate, many of these classes feel more akin to a Zoom corporate sensitivity-training than to Dalton’s intellectually engaging curriculum.”

I haven’t even gotten to the good part. Wherever there’s smoke, there’s fire. If white supremacy, defunding the police, or racism are being stirred in a school, then you’d better realize there’s another agenda being administered. Enter masturbation education.

“Hey, how come sometimes my penis gets big sometimes and points in the air?” asks the little boy in the cartoon, leading to an explanation of what an “erection” is.

The boy nods and says, “Sometimes I touch my penis because it feels good.”

Then the little girl character chimes in: “Sometimes, when I’m in my bath or when Mom puts me to bed, I like to touch my vulva too.”

If the word masturbation makes you squirm, just know that the school forbids such a word while teaching six-year-old children to “play with themselves.” Justine Ang Fonte has reassured parents that she does not use the word “masturbation” in class, and that her lessons teach kids not to touch themselves in public. So, only touching your privates in a private location fits this school’s idea of appropriate. Did I mention parents are paying an ugly penny for this “education”?

“Kids have no less than five classes on gender identity — this is pure indoctrination,” a Dalton mother said. “This person should absolutely not be teaching children. Ironically, she teaches kids about ‘consent’ yet she has never gotten consent from parents about the sexually explicit, and age-inappropriate material about transgender to first-graders.”

“We are furious,” a third Dalton mother fumed. “We were horrified to learn this was shown to our first-grade 6- and 7-year-old kids without our knowledge or consent. But it’s so hard to fight back because you’ll get canceled and your child will suffer.”

The second Dalton mother said, “I’m not against all sex education but it’s not cool to keep parents in the dark about it.”

If you didn’t notice what I did, allow me to point it out. Where are the men on this subject? The husbands and fathers? Why are these children not being defended by their own dads? Moms attack when their baby cubs are being disturbed, but I would have loved to have read even a single quote from a dad on his daughter being taught to play with her clitoris or vulva. I guess he’s just footing the bill while putting his foot in his mouth. Hopefully, a massive insurrection of this masturbation and erection education ensues, but it’s sad that it’s even necessary to do so.