The adults are back in charge, we were told. Our relationships with our allies would go back to normal and the racist policies of the Trump administration would be overturned. America’s reputation on the world stage would be restored.

I’m not the sharpest bulb in the drawer, I mean the brightest knife in the box, but apparently I’m missing something. The White House keeps telling us everything is going swimmingly!

Trump’s racist immigration policies were overturned on Day One. During the campaign, Biden told immigrants to surge to the border, and surge they did. As many as 1.7 million illegals that we know of flooded our borders. How many got away? Who knows?

Immigrants are put on planes and buses and shipped all over the country to places like my hometown, Chattanooga, usually in the middle of the night. Any spikes in COVID-19 cases after falling infection rates are purely coincidental; they couldn’t be caused by immigrants who are infected and not tested, and you’re a racist for even asking!

The good news is our global reputation now that Biden is in charge. Okay, there is that incident of bailing on our allies in Afghanistan in the middle of the night without telling anyone. Sure, there’re hundreds of American citizens and thousands of our Afghan allies left behind, but we’re told by Jen “Circle Back” Psaki they probably wanted to stay there. I know Afghanistan is on my top 10 vacation destinations!

The Keystone Pipeline was shut down and we’re asking OPEC to help us out as gas prices are sky high.

Sure, the administration needs to deal with the domestic terrorist threat posed by soccer moms who try to impose their opinion on school boards. There’s also that radical dad who dared to speak out at a school board meeting because his daughter was raped by a “trans” male student. Dad was probably transphobic and needed to be taken down a notch.

I hope they’ve rooted out all the white supremacists (read: Trump voters) in our military. But our top military leaders will keep rooting them out till all the racists are gone and only the politically “pure” soldiers, sailors, airmen, and Marines are left.

On the world stage, things couldn’t be going better. Sure, there’s pesky China sending warplanes into Taiwan’s airspace, Russia laughs at us, and Iran and North Korea are rattling their nuclear sabers. I’m sure they’ll calm down once they see how great Biden is doing.

Once we begin to tax the snot out of those evil rich folks who aren’t paying their fair share, the economy will start humming. And if we greedy Americans would quit wanting “stuff,” there wouldn’t be all those ships sitting off our ports.

Finally, we need to address the pending disaster of global warming, I mean global cooling, I mean “climate change.” Sure, all the predictions made about natural disasters since the 1970s have been wrong, but it could happen any day now. So, let’s be good “global citizens” and be the first country to bite the bullet and take one for the world and destroy our economy. I’m sure China, Russia, and India will follow our example.

Yep! Things couldn’t be any better since the adults took over!

Something to think about?

P.S. Sarcasm is one of my gifts!