Satire
97 pieces filed under this topic.
White Women Argue Black Men Should Only Have Three-Fifths of a Jury Vote
“There should be some type of compromise in these situations,” the woman said.
Mamdani: Women Attending 9/11 Memorial Will Be Required to Wear Hijab
“As we mark this grave moment, let us come together under the Sharia Law of Islamist dictatorships.”
The Babylon Bee Interviews the Lindsay Clancy Jury
We can only imagine what the deliberations between these twelve luminaries must have been like.
Women Honor Gloria Steinem by Leaving Kids at Daycare and Working 9 Hours at Jobs They Hate
“This is the best way to remember her legacy,” HR representative Mary Thompson said.
Mamdani Installs Muslim Foot-Washing Station at 9/11 Memorial
“How can you celebrate — I mean, solemnly observe — 9/11 properly without humbly obliging the religion that propagated these attacks?”
Apocalypse Draws Near as Last Remaining Universally Beloved Human Being Passes Away
Dolly Parton, age 80, was the final person on earth still beloved across every political and socioeconomic spectrum.
Democrats Celebrate El-Sayed Victory by Firing AK-47s Into the Air
“Inshallah,” fellow Islamic extremist Rashida Tlaib said. “The new caliphate begins in Michigan!”
Uh-Oh: Mamdani’s New NYC Map Includes ‘Little Auschwitz’ in Brooklyn
“Well, that can’t be good,” said Brooklyn resident Martin Arrington. “I thought those guard towers being built around here seemed awfully strange.”
Maine Updates State Flag With Swastika
“The change was long overdue,” said local man Wagner Foscue. “Good-bye moose, hello swastika.”
Check Out These 10 Verses From the New James Talarico Bible Translation
Be sure to pick up your copy of the JTB and start twisting Scripture today.
Democrats Criticize Trump for Holding MMA Match on the Hallowed Ground Where Biden Hosted Topless Trannies
“I just can’t believe the president would be so irresponsible,” Nancy Pelosi said.
London Mayor Confused by Protesters Not Chanting ‘Death to Jews’
“I don’t understand what’s happening here,” said Mayor Khan, watching the protesters march. “Why are they carrying English and British flags?
Media Still Stumped as to Motive of Gunman With Manifesto Titled ‘Why I’m Going to Kill Donald J. Trump’
“Who was he after that night, and for what reason? We may never know.”
After Failed Assassination, Democrats Observe Customary 5-Minute Pause on Calling Trump ‘Hitler’
“The shooter didn’t actually get that close, so should be no more than five minutes,” said Senator Chuck Schumer.
‘Do Not Fear Mass Islamic Migration,’ Says Pope Behind 40-Foot Walls of Vatican City Fortress
“You must lovingly accept anyone into your country, even if they want very much to kill you.”
Media: No Motive Yet in Attack on Jewish Synagogue by Radical Muslim
“It is, by all accounts, just a completely random tragedy,” said one reporter.
10 Famous Terrorist Attacks as Described by CNN
Aspiring journalists, take note! CNN’s reporting on terrorist attacks is second to none.
CNN Reports on Japanese Teenagers Who Came to Hawaii for What Could’ve Been Beautiful Day at Beach
“These Japanese men had the misfortune of coming close to where the bigoted Americans were staying.”
Mamdani Condemns New Yorkers for Making Muslims Throw Bombs at Them
“We will not tolerate the Islamophobia that compels Muslims to construct homemade explosives and toss them into crowds,” said Mamdani.
The U.S. Just Attacked Iran: Here’s What Happens Next
Women will go shopping: It doesn’t really have anything to do with Iran, but it’s going to happen.