Stephen Guy Hardin / July 1, 2011

A Little Presidential Petroleum Petting

Word has leaked from low level sources within the White House that President Obama sent a high level, covert apology team to the king of Saudi Arabia to ask permission to release thirty million barrels of American oil from the American Strategic Petroleum Reserve. A second, perhaps more important, aim of this political overture was to appease the Saudi king for any bruised feelings he may have suffered due to President Obama’s negligence in responding to King Abdullah’s, or Abbie to his male fiends, numerous phone calls, texts and Facebook messages.


Saudi Arabia and their OPEC minions have traditionally objected to efforts by the United States to achieve any type of oil independence, which includes efforts by the U.S. to manage its own strategic oil reserves without first obtaining Saudi approval.

After eight years of hand holding and light petting from George W. Bush, the Saudi king has felt neglected from an Obama administration that has played hard to get to the point of being a tease. After an initial period of courtship after President Obama was inaugurated there has been a noticeable alienation of affection from the White House.

In May of this year, in an effort to make up for any perceived feelings of rejection, the president sent a secret diplomatic envoy to King Abdullah, or Abbie to his close male friends, bearing a gift of the latest Tupac CD compilation for the kings listening and rapping pleasure. It was also reported that First Lady Michelle Obama included in this diplomatic package a framed 8 x 10 color glossy of Reverend Jeremiah Wright in a ‘fatherly’ embrace with a young Barack for the kings photo album of American presidents.

In an obvious yet subtle display of affection, King Abdullah, or Abbie to his close male friends, gave President Obama permission to release American domestic oil reserves just this one time. But in a sternly worded note the king has expressed his disgruntlement at Barack’s personal aloofness and he fully expects some of that Bush loving that the Saudi’s have come to expect from American presidents.

Presidential apologies are all well and good, but nothing beats a little presidential petroleum petting.


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