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March 28, 2013

If I Were a Governor

If I were a governor, the first thing I’d do is scrutinize the school curriculum in my state. For the teachings in the schools today will be the ideology of tomorrow, to paraphrase Abraham Lincoln.

I’d review as much of the material as I could myself, and if the volume was too great, I’d appoint like-minded traditionalists to help with the task. But gone would be the revisionist history, radical environmentalism, feminism, multiculturalism, politically correct teaching models, and most other pseudo-intellectual “innovations” of the last century. Tradition would be resurrected and exalted, the classics would be taught, and the moral supremacy of the old Western civilization emphasized. I would be mindful of G.K. Chesterton’s words: “It ought to be the oldest things that are taught to the youngest children, the assured and experienced truths that are put first to the baby. But in a school today the baby has to submit to a system that is younger than himself.”

I’d also do everything in my power to identify and eliminate teachers and college professors who instill the young with soul-scorching lies. This task would be approached with unyielding fervor – just imagine the House Committee on Un-American Activities on steroids. If most all the educators had to be replaced with people lacking in formal education but overflowing with wisdom and actual education, that would be fine (those with “education” majors need not apply). You can have more degrees than a thermometer but not a lick of common sense.

If I were a governor, God would be in the public square, just as He was when the founders were there. Organizations such as the ACLU and Americans United for the Separation of Church and State would object, I’m sure. But they’d have their hands full already, since I’d be doing to them what they’ve long done to American culture. You see, leftists are corrupt, and corrupt people generally have skeletons in their closets. So these organizations would be investigated relentlessly and their lives made very uncomfortable. Oh, I realize they know how to play hardball. I’d play harder-ball.

If I were a governor, I wouldn’t just oppose ObamaCare. I’d also inform the central government that henceforth my state will no longer abide by any unconstitutional federal laws, mandates, or regulations. Furthermore, any federal agent who crossed into my state to enforce such would be arrested, thrown in jail, and charged. And, yes, we’d find something to charge him with.

If I were a governor, illegal aliens would receive neither education nor benefits nor jobs. Most would then leave my state voluntarily, and the rest would be rounded up and bussed to Washington, DC. If the feral government complained, I’d just say that we’re doing the jobs un-Americans won’t do.

If I were a governor, foreigners would be guests, not guides. Government documents and services would be provided in English only, though I might offer the telephone option of pressing two for deportation. After all, if you love your culture enough to want to impose it, you’ll perhaps understand that we love ours enough to want to protect it. If this meets with your disfavor, there’s a simple solution: it’s rumored that there is more of your culture than you’ll know what to do with in the place you came from.

If I were a governor, life would be protected from conception to natural death. If your name was Dr. Kevorkian or Andrew Cuomo, you could take your ideology elsewhere.

If I were a governor, I’d ensure that there no longer was that one exception to the eternal law “It is easier to destroy than create.” Many big-government programs and bureaucracies would go the way of the dodo. The state “human-rights” commission and social services agencies would be first on the list, but, well, I’ll put it this way: I’d do to most government programs and bureaucracies what an asteroid might have done to the dinosaurs.

If I were a governor, I’d recognize that we’ve been gradually losing liberty through the continual institution of laws and regulations. Thus, if the total number of these removals of freedom wasn’t reduced during my tenure, I’d consider it a failure. I’d also want this to be mirrored by taxation levels. If government can’t get by on a reasonable amount of money, well, it’s time to say, “When in the course of human events….”

If I were a governor, the courts would be brought to heel. They’d surely object to most of my program, and I’d certainly take note of that. I’d then echo Andrew Jackson and say that the courts have made their decision – now let them enforce it. Lawyers exist to be made as unnecessary as possible, not to rule as an oligarchy over the people. Most of them are educated beyond their intelligence, anyway, and I’d remind them that, as Thomas Jefferson warned, judicial review is un-American and a threat to the republic. I’d inform them that judicial review has been reviewed – and ruled suicidal.

If I were a governor, I’d do what all governors should do: I’d build a future for all, not just a career for one. I’d stand up for truth, not bow down to tyranny. And I’d encourage people to cultivate the temperate minds that allow for freedom and that extinguish the passions that forge fetters.

If I were a governor, I might not last long. But I would certainly start a fire.

You can contact Selwyn Duke at [email protected]. Follow him on Twitter: or log on to

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