WASHINGTON – In a stunning development, the National Security Agency (NSA) reports that PRISM, the secret spy program that monitors all internet activity in the U.S. and the world and stores all the data in acres and acres of massive super-cooled buildings somewhere in the desert, has uncovered an active ongoing plot by the NSA to use the PRISM program to monitor, spy on, and collect all the internet activity in the U.S.

The NSA is concerned that the newly discovered NSA PRISM program is to be used to launch an attack against the NSA and potentially undercut the efficiency of its PRISM program.

“This PRISM program shows just how important it is for our national defense to have the PRISM program,” stated the NSA director.

“Without the PRISM program the NSA never would’ve been able to discover that the NSA has been actively plotting to attack the NSA with this scandal. This proves how effective the program is and why it’s so vital for national defense,” he said.

Official reports indicate that PRISM intercepted internet chatter about the PRISM scandal on various websites and e-mails, which it effectively stored, cataloged, interpreted, “rang the alarm in the night,” and gave us timely warning of the threat to the NSA PRISM program.

“Incompetence of a few rogue agents are to blame for the news being leaked,” the NSA director explained.

An internal investigation into the attack is underway.

This article is a satirical collaboration of The People’s Cube authors under the collective name of “Karl Marx Treatment Center.”