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August 15, 2013

Bo Supports Middle Class From Martha’s Vineyard

Americans can go to bed with a story to warm the cockles of their hearts tonight. First Dog Bo has been successfully transported to join the First Family on their well-deserved vacation on Martha’s Vineyard.

Bo was transported from Washington to the island on board a specially modified Marine Corps MV-22 Osprey. For security reasons similar to those of Vice President Joe Biden, President Obama and First Dog Bo cannot travel on the same aircraft, thus making a separate flight necessary.

While some might consider using a $69.3 million aircraft to transport a dog a bit extravagant, it must be pointed out that this was paid for with taxpayer money, not from the First Family’s accounts. Neither President nor Mrs. Obama are spendthrifts and are very careful with the family’s budget.

It is important that Bo accompany the First Family on this vacation, which the president surely deserves after all the hard work he has put in over the past few days. The president recently returned from a tortuous tour of speech-making, some of which were delivered in benighted flyover places like Tennessee.

He has been working hard to live up to the promise that “as long as I have the privilege of serving as your President, I’ll spend every minute of every day I have left in this office doing everything I can to build that better bargain for the middle class and make this country a place where everyone who works hard can get ahead.” He deserves some time off after a speech like that, don’t you think?

That’s where Bo comes in. After all, what’s a week in a $7.9 million, 5,000 square foot mansion without your best buddy to romp and play with across the nine acre estate? And besides, Bo might get lonely with just the White House Staff to feed him and care for him during the 8-day vacation. Nobody wants Bo to be sad, do they?

So tonight when you come home from work and slip off your shoes and sit down with a nice glass of generic soda pop, don’t forget to raise a glass to Bo, the faithful companion, and his Master, as they get some well-deserved rest and relaxation. Then smile, knowing that your tax dollars made this touching moment possible.

This article is a satire written by a The People’s Cube author “Ivan Betinov.”

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