Grassroots Commentary

Missing Toilet Paper and Asinine Democrats

David L. Hunter · Feb. 16, 2016

In America, toilet paper is so plentiful, it’s like it grows on trees or something. It’s literally available everywhere. From big-box stores with industrial-sized multi-packs to conventional local retailers to neighborhood convenience stores. It’s even available in dollar stores for the frugal. Likewise, it is found in unexpected places such as technology specialists like Staples. (Why does one need to buy toilet paper with one’s new internet-ready laptop? Let’s not speculate.) Yet, regardless of the quality of the business, all of these vendors have the same thing in common: all are for-profit, Capitalist enterprises. In fact, despite the obviously rabid competition, the U.S. toilet paper marketplace is so robust novelty stores like Spencer’s carry Obama toilet paper (or Hillary, if that is your preference for a no doubt chafing bum-wipe). Compare this circumstance with that of the Socialist government of Venezuela infamous for their toilet paper shortages — among other basic staples like soap, coffee, milk or sugar. Indeed, if the unlikely Socialist Bernie Sanders comes to power, how will his empty-headed millennial supporters enjoy their Sharia law-compliant Starbucks when the aforementioned ingredients are unavailable? No doubt there will be a collective gnashing of teeth as these minions stand in Socialist-inspired unemployment lines snaking around the block without their pacifying $6.00 European-style cups of Joe.

Could average Americans imagine staying at a luxury hotel — or a Budget Inn for that matter — where one must bring their own toilet paper along with other toiletries like bars of soap? That was true in Russia in the 1990s and it’s true of Venezuela today. In 16 years of Chavista rule, the brown stuff has hit the fan — and there’s isn’t enough Charmin in the whole country to clean it up. Capitalism is an economic high tide that raises all boats. Contrarily, Democrats’ divisive speeches about “inequality” are intended to place everyone — except naturally themselves, the ruling elite — in the same boat of lowered prospects of government dependence. This is the Democrat’s political plantation and Bernie and Hillary are the odd couple mismanaging the funny farm.

To this end, Sanders’ brays about class warfare, economic differences of the one-percenters he demonizes for not paying enough — even though they’re almost 50% of the tax base. Not to be undone, pot-stirring kitchen wench Hillary promotes gender and racial discord. Despite subtly different tacks, both appeal to the basest human instincts: hatred, envy and intolerance. Like wicked pied pipers, they feed their followers a noxious societal stew that transforms America á la Obama by ripping it apart by its seams. Their political wedges serve as personal stepping stones to higher office. While the masses eke out low-rent existences in dilapidated, government-run housing projects, they live in palatial estates. Think Imelda Marcus’ cavernous closet of designer shoes or Saddam Hussein’s palace of golden toilets. Let me be clear: Democrats/Socialists care not one whit for the public’s well-being, only wielding political power. Their scandal-prone liar of a front-runner Hillary Clinton’s only pressing concern is not her likely criminality, it is her electability.

Less tenacious politicians might worry about federal indictment related to Server-gate or “Clinton Cash” influence-bartering, but not Hillary. She knows Mr. Obama’s Justice Department is compromised and will not prosecute for a simple political reality: she’s the only game in town. Likewise, she will never worry about “wiping” things with a cloth (or something else with paper products) beyond the 30,000 emails from her private computer server. Indeed, she exists in the protective bubble of the Secret Service she ironically despises — among the trappings of vast wealth: mansions, limousines and private jets. She of the 6-figure speaking fee is so out-of-touch with her fellow citizens, she hasn’t driven a car in decades (1996) let alone worry about paying the rent or where her next meal is coming from. With 7 years of economic downturn under Obama, no rational person would publicly praise the worst president in modern memory unless to publicly convey that she will benefit him personally by continuing his “legacy.” Indeed, to sabotage her presidential ambitions would likely result in the election of a repealing-Republican president; an absolutely abhorrent alternative to the current occupant of the Oval Office.

With an ever-rising 19 trillion debt and a host of dire problems at home and abroad, the electorate will be whistling past the graveyard that is American Capitalist prosperity under the yolk of 4 more years of a Socialist/Democrat. With 93 million able-bodied Americans out of the workforce, the present administration already lies about the absurdity of a 4.9 unemployment rate. Should the future feature the new-normal of mass shortages, bread lines, black markets and blatant theft by unassailable government officials á la Russia?

These universal calling cards of Socialism are heralded surprisingly by an absence of toilet paper. Loss of such a bathroom necessity concretely demonstrates that the Democratic/Socialism on offer by Hillary/Bernie fails miserably everywhere it is tried. Including, historically, here, when it was tried by the Pilgrims in 1620. The Pilgrim’s lesson: without the incentive of profit for hard work, why be productive at all? It’s common sense, basic human nature Bernie and Hillary are completely oblivious to. Today’s version of the “workers’ paradise” these rascals promote is a pipe dream, another dystopian hope-and-change nightmare. Those unfortunates metaphorically flushing their votes for Burnie or Hillary should start hoarding the TP now.

David L. Hunter is on Twitter and blogs at He has previously been published in multiple in The Washington Post, The Washington Times, FrontPage Mag, and extensively in Canada Free Press and American Thinker.

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