Burt Prelutsky / Jul. 23, 2011

Mourning in America

We have often heard that the devil is in the details. But these days, I'm afraid he's in the Oval Office. Who else would have run on the promise to radically transform America? Who else would have thought that America, of all places, required a radical transformation? If a normal human being were asked which countries could use an overhaul, he wouldn't be thinking of the United States. Would he mention Russia and Venezuela? No doubt. Would he have China, Yemen and North Korea, on the short list?Absolutely. How about Saudi Arabia, Syria, Cuba and Iran? Indubitably.

We have often heard that the devil is in the details. But these days, I’m afraid he’s in the Oval Office. Who else would have run on the promise to radically transform America? Who else would have thought that America, of all places, required a radical transformation? If a normal human being were asked which countries could use an overhaul, he wouldn’t be thinking of the United States. Would he mention Russia and Venezuela? No doubt. Would he have China, Yemen and North Korea, on the short list? Absolutely. How about Saudi Arabia, Syria, Cuba and Iran? Indubitably.

On the other hand, it’s actually the one promise Obama has kept. But, who else but he and Satan would even suggest that a nation created by such giants as Washington, Jefferson, Franklin, Madison and Adams, had to wait 232 years for a leftwing community organizer to fix what wasn’t broken?

And when this arrogant pipsqueak chastises the Republicans in Congress for doing nothing about the debt crisis when they’re the ones who presented and voted for Paul Ryan’s budget plan months ago while this schmuck has been off golfing and fund-raising, does he really believe we take his words seriously? Great men, it’s said, speak truth to power; Obama speaks power to truth.

As most of you know by now, the California legislature has not only mandated that school textbooks will devote a great deal of space to ballyhooing the contributions homosexuals have made to society, but mandated that no disparaging words will be included either in the books or in classroom discussions.

I would say that, along with the notable contributions that homosexuals have made to Broadway, Hollywood and the world of interior decorating, one of the most astonishing is the way their well-oiled propaganda machine has succeeded in stifling anything like honest debate about same-sex marriages and the enormous amount of tax dollars diverted to AIDS research.

Probably the only good thing to be said about the current state of public education is that the test scores indicate that the kids are nodding off during math, science and English, so perhaps they’re also snoozing during leftwing indoctrination sessions. We can at least hope that they’re otherwise occupied while their brain-dead teachers dispense verbal bouquets to Palestinians, global warming alarmists, Islamists and illegal aliens, while damning Israelis, conservatives, the oil and pharmaceutical industries and, of course, anyone who thinks the teachers union should don a dunce cap and go sit in the corner.

Speaking of illegal aliens, why is it that they are invariably described as “hard-working”? We have perfectly fine legal immigrants from all over the world adding to America’s tapestry, but it’s only those who sneak in who are so designated. Are Polish immigrants notorious slackers? Are Germans and Finns nothing but gold bricks? Are South Africans, Taiwanese and Australians, a bunch of lazy stiffs? Are Swedes, Czechs and Italians, a collection of pathetic laggards? What about Pakistanis, Indians, Israelis and Canadians? Afraid to work up a decent sweat, are they?

How is it, I wonder, that with all those hard workers, Mexico remains a third world nation that keeps its economy afloat, thanks, mainly, to illegal drugs and the money orders sent home by those who have snuck across our border?

There are still people in America who refuse to acknowledge that the mass media has a liberal bias, even after the New York Times, the Bible of the Left, in reporting a recent Supreme Court decision, reported that five conservative judges were on one side – the wrong side, naturally – while “Ruth Bader Ginsburg and the other three moderates” were on the other.

Although I am extremely confident that Obama will be ousted in 2012, I hate having to rely on the so-called Independent voter. They’re the politically uninformed who pay so little attention that, in spite of one dreadful fiasco after another – including a trillion dollar stimulus, cash for clunkers, four trillion dollars of additional debt, a childish refusal to dig for coal or drill for oil, a foolish foray into Libya and a policy that fosters class and racial warfare – decided, temporarily, at least, that Obama was doing a heck of a job because they happened to like a speech he delivered in Tucson.

After napping through nearly two years of nonstop campaigning, they’re the Dummkopfs who, pollsters report, are still undecided three days before presidential elections. I know these folks take pride in being non-partisan and regard themselves as politically astute, but, in reality, they’re the saps who generally make their election decisions by flipping a coin.

Finally, in spite of telling us that all future terrorists would be tried by military tribunals, Obama and Eric Holder pulled an end-run and decided to Mirandize Somali Islamist Ahmed Abdulkadir Warsame and try him in a civilian court.

Fortunately, the Casey Anthony jury is well-rested and eager to get back to work.

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