Burt Prelutsky / Aug. 1, 2011

Slaughtering the Left's Sacred Cows

One of the great mysteries of our age is how it is that those on the Left, who aren't even on speaking terms with logic and rationality, continue to regard themselves as the intellectual elite. But, then, how is it that America's youth, who can barely read, write or add 5 and 6 without removing their shoes and socks, lead the world when it comes to self-esteem?

I assume that whatever the answer is, it also explains why liberals continue to feel tingles running up their legs whenever they hear Obama's voice, even when he's lying about his mother's illness or his grandfather's military service.

One of the great mysteries of our age is how it is that those on the Left, who aren’t even on speaking terms with logic and rationality, continue to regard themselves as the intellectual elite. But, then, how is it that America’s youth, who can barely read, write or add 5 and 6 without removing their shoes and socks, lead the world when it comes to self-esteem?

I assume that whatever the answer is, it also explains why liberals continue to feel tingles running up their legs whenever they hear Obama’s voice, even when he’s lying about his mother’s illness or his grandfather’s military service.

Neither are they troubled when Obama spends months on the links and gallivanting around the world rounding up campaign contributions and then, sounding like a dyspeptic school marm, chastises Republicans for not doing their homework.

Like the Queen of Hearts insisting that her words mean whatever she wants them to mean, Al Gore goes from issuing hourly bulletins about global warming to jabbering about something called climate change, as if the two were one and the same. In similar fashion, Obama disguises the word “tax” by occasionally referring to “fees” or even “revenue.” It makes one wonder if George H.W. Bush would have been re-elected in 1992 if only he’d said, “Read my lips…no new fees.” Perhaps the voters would have assumed that he was merely addressing the folks who run country clubs.

Once a person strays into the wilderness of a liberal’s brain, the chances are that if the snakes and spiders don’t get him, the quicksand will. For instance, it used to drive me nuts when those on the Left would attack the Second Amendment. I could never figure out why they seemed to feel it was unsportsmanlike for Americans to be able to defend themselves against armed criminals. I now wonder why it is that the same people who are constantly crusading against tobacco, trans-fats, salt and sugar, have made it their mission in life to promote Islam and homosexuality.

Here in California, it’s been a few years since the libs saw to it that textbooks and class projects reflected their admiration of all things Islamic. Now, as you’ve probably heard, the state legislature has seen to it that future textbooks will advance the homosexual agenda. What’s more, neither teachers nor students will be permitted to question it. And these are the same folks who condemn Catholics for accepting the infallibility of the Pope! There is no dogma quite as strict as that which emanates from the Left.

To liberals, the First Amendment only guarantees free speech to themselves, while they elect to interpret freedom of religion to mean freedom from religion.

Another oddity of the liberal mindset, both here and in Europe, is that it favors the Palestinians in its conflict with Israel. In spite of Israel’s being a western-style democracy, with equal rights for women and its own Arab population, left-wingers display their true anti-Jewish bigotry by siding with the Hamas-led Palestinians.

A recent poll reported that 73% of the Palestinians want the Jews annihilated. I’m assuming that the remaining 27% merely wish to see them enslaved.

When I was young and first heard that people get the leaders they deserve, I assumed it was a reference to such tyrants as Hitler, Stalin and Mussolini. Being older and, I hope, wiser, I now realize it also includes the duly-elected likes of John Dingell (56 years in the House), Daniel Inouye (48 years in the Senate), Max Baucus (4 years in the House, 33 in the Senate), George Miller (36 in the House), Patrick Leahy (37 in the Senate), Pete Stark (38 in the House), Henry Waxman (36 in the House) and John McCain (4 in the House, 28 in the Senate).

Which reminds me, back in 1953, the NAACP waged a campaign against CBS and the Blatz Brewing Company. The purpose of the proposed boycott was to get “Amos ‘n’ Andy” knocked off the tube because, the pinheads complained, it portrayed blacks in a stereotypical fashion. The network and the beer company caved, and just like that, black cast members Spencer Williams, Amanda Randolph, Johnny Lee, Nick Stewart and the marvelous Tim Moore, joined the ranks of the unemployed.

Yet, here it is, 58 years later, and you don’t hear the NAACP griping about such embarrassing stereotypes as Maxine Waters, Bobby Rich, Barbara Lee, James Clyburn, Melvin Watt, Jesse Jackson, Jr. or Sheila Jackson Lee, serving for decades in the House of Representatives.

If, as I’ve heard, a nation of sheep breeds a government of wolves, I think it’s fair to say that a nation of black sheep breeds a government of really ignorant, self-serving, wolves.

Before I forget, I should share a study that suggested just how foolish Obama has been in pandering to the radical environmentalists and their greening of America. It seems that it would require 14 square miles of solar paneling to generate as much energy as to be found in the underground storage tanks in a single gas station. Or, in other words, to equal the energy available in just six neighborhood gas stations, every single square inch of Los Angeles would have to be covered in solar panels. And that, as we all know, is a totally absurd proposition because virtually every square inch of L.A. is already covered in freeways.

Finally, some wag suggested that if, today, Dorothy found herself surrounded by those with no hearts, no brains and no courage, she wouldn’t be in Oz, she’d be in Congress.

Furthermore, I dare say her little dog Toto would be running things in the Oval Office.

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