Why We Ask: Our mission and operations are funded 100% by conservatives like you. Please help us continue to extend Liberty to the next generation and support the 2024 Year-End Campaign today.

October 1, 2011

From The Comedy Store

Hallmark Cards offered a new line of recession-themed cards which console people who’ve lost his jobs. The response was huge. So many of these cards were mailed to the Congress and the White House that it could save the Postal Service from bankruptcy.

Missourian Tom Carnahan will host a fundraising dinner for President Obama after his energy company got a hundred million dollars in tax credits to develop wind power. It’s Plan B. The government is throwing money into the wind after the sun turned out to be corrupt.

Major League Baseball began discouraging ballplayers from using energy drinks like Red Bull. It has to be done. In order for the statistics in baseball to be consistent from generation to generation, ballplayers are required to dissolve amphetamines in the coffee.

Steven Spielberg announced he will make a movie about Abraham Lincoln next year and release it during the election campaign. Of course the movie will be fictionalized. Nothing will persuade Abraham Lincoln to go into a theater after what happened last time.

President Obama addressed the U.N. General Assembly in New York where he assured the world that the U.S. remains strong. He began the speech by declaring that the U.S. dollar is sound. It always helps to get the crowd on your side by opening with a joke.

Florida deep-sea divers were ordered by a U.S. court to return to Spain the treasure they’d found on a galleon sunk three hundred years ago. The ship was hauling sixteen tons of silver when it sank. It was the first of many setbacks for people who advocate wind power.

Facebook’s founder Mark Zuckerman rolled out new features which left users confused and angry. Going on Facebook is like being in prison anyway. You spend hours all by yourself, you write on walls and you get poked by people you don’t know every night.

Hustler’s Larry Flynt offered a million dollar reward to anybody who can prove they had an illicit sexual relationship with Rick Perry. It’s a service to the country. By now it’s a proven fact that the U.S. economy does better when we have a president with sex scandals.

The Supreme Court agreed Monday to rule whether ObamaCare is constitutional. If you want free health care in America just go to the airport. It’s there you can get free X-rays and a free breast exam, and if you mention al-Qaeda, you also get a free colonoscopy.

President Obama committed a gaffe, telling a black crowd that a billionaire shouldn’t pay a lower tax rate than a Jew, before correcting himself and saying janitor. It’s a pattern. Last week at a banquet he called for a Palestinian state run by Hamas, and what he meant to say was, pass the salt.

New York hospitals reported a huge drop in cocaine-related emergency room cases because the recession has made cocaine way too expensive. You can’t make it up. President Obama finally passed health care reform and no one can afford the overdose.

Saudi Arabia proclaimed a new law for the kingdom which allows women to vote in Saudi Arabia, but women still aren’t allowed to drive in Saudi Arabia. This is not exactly a breakthrough in women’s rights. They have cars but they don’t have elections.

President Obama got his lowest job approval numbers on Monday. Years ago during rush hour Michelle called him to warn him that a crazed idiot was driving on the wrong way on the freeway. Barack replied that he’d already counted about four hundred of them.

Hallmark Cards offered a new line of recession-themed cards which console people who’ve lost his jobs. The response was huge. So many of these cards were mailed to the Congress and the White House that it could save the Postal Service from bankruptcy.

© Copyright 2011 Argus Hamilton

Who We Are

The Patriot Post is a highly acclaimed weekday digest of news analysis, policy and opinion written from the heartland — as opposed to the MSM’s ubiquitous Beltway echo chambers — for grassroots leaders nationwide. More

What We Offer

On the Web

We provide solid conservative perspective on the most important issues, including analysis, opinion columns, headline summaries, memes, cartoons and much more.

Via Email

Choose our full-length Digest or our quick-reading Snapshot for a summary of important news. We also offer Cartoons & Memes on Monday and Alexander’s column on Wednesday.

Our Mission

The Patriot Post is steadfast in our mission to extend the endowment of Liberty to the next generation by advocating for individual rights and responsibilities, supporting the restoration of constitutional limits on government and the judiciary, and promoting free enterprise, national defense and traditional American values. We are a rock-solid conservative touchstone for the expanding ranks of grassroots Americans Patriots from all walks of life. Our mission and operation budgets are not financed by any political or special interest groups, and to protect our editorial integrity, we accept no advertising. We are sustained solely by you. Please support The Patriot Fund today!


The Patriot Post and Patriot Foundation Trust, in keeping with our Military Mission of Service to our uniformed service members and veterans, are proud to support and promote the National Medal of Honor Heritage Center, the Congressional Medal of Honor Society, both the Honoring the Sacrifice and Warrior Freedom Service Dogs aiding wounded veterans, the Tunnel to Towers Foundation, the National Veterans Entrepreneurship Program, the Folds of Honor outreach, and Officer Christian Fellowship, the Air University Foundation, and Naval War College Foundation, and the Naval Aviation Museum Foundation. "Greater love has no one than this, to lay down one's life for his friends." (John 15:13)

★ PUBLIUS ★

“Our cause is noble; it is the cause of mankind!” —George Washington

Please join us in prayer for our nation — that righteous leaders would rise and prevail and we would be united as Americans. Pray also for the protection of our Military Patriots, Veterans, First Responders, and their families. Please lift up your Patriot team and our mission to support and defend our Republic's Founding Principle of Liberty, that the fires of freedom would be ignited in the hearts and minds of our countrymen.

The Patriot Post is protected speech, as enumerated in the First Amendment and enforced by the Second Amendment of the Constitution of the United States of America, in accordance with the endowed and unalienable Rights of All Mankind.

Copyright © 2024 The Patriot Post. All Rights Reserved.

The Patriot Post does not support Internet Explorer. We recommend installing the latest version of Microsoft Edge, Mozilla Firefox, or Google Chrome.