Burt Prelutsky / Oct. 8, 2011

Taking Pot Shots at Big Shots

I don't know how it will play out, but as of this moment, as I sit here, Iran has sentenced a pastor to be executed because at the age of 19 he converted from Islam to Christianity. How much more evidence does anyone require before accepting that the people who blew up the USS Cole and the Twin Towers, ran amok at Fort Hood, blow up Israeli school buses and pizza parlors, and whine about being racially profiled are not anomalies. Rather, they are the faithful followers of their bloody religion, and the sooner we have someone in the White House who doesn't feel compelled to pretend otherwise, the better.

I don’t know how it will play out, but as of this moment, as I sit here, Iran has sentenced a pastor to be executed because at the age of 19 he converted from Islam to Christianity. How much more evidence does anyone require before accepting that the people who blew up the USS Cole and the Twin Towers, ran amok at Fort Hood, blow up Israeli school buses and pizza parlors, and whine about being racially profiled are not anomalies. Rather, they are the faithful followers of their bloody religion, and the sooner we have someone in the White House who doesn’t feel compelled to pretend otherwise, the better.

In an earlier piece, I reported that I kept receiving email from various potentates on the Left, asking me to donate to the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee (DSCC). Having already heard from Al Franken, John Kerry and Frank Lautenberg, I should have figured that James Carville, who moonlights posing for Jolly Roger flags, wouldn’t be far behind. This morning, Mr. Carville warned me that if I didn’t cough up at least five dollars, Mitch McConnell would privatize Social Security, Jim DeMint would end Medicare and, what’s more, I could kiss the EPA goodbye “since Tea Partiers think clean water tramples on their constitutional right to be poisoned.” And I think I write funny material!

Some people have accused me of never saying anything nice about Democrats in general, Nancy Pelosi in particular. Lest anyone mistake me for a misogynist, I wish to go on record as stating that Mrs. Pelosi is wonderful to her friends and her relatives. For instance, while most small businesses were worried sick about ObamaCare, she saw to it that several of her favorite San Francisco restaurants were granted waivers. And just recently, we found out that one of the energy companies that are in line to receive several hundred million taxpayer dollars (think Solyndra) is a company in which her brother-in-law is heavily invested. Now, that’s what I call a sister-in-law!

One can almost sympathize with Al Qaeda. I mean, no sooner are they picking a fight with Iran for continuing to deny them credit for the events of 9/11, and instead insisting that George Bush was behind it, then Anwar Al-Awlaki, the American-born successor to Osama bin Laden, is sent off to Paradise in little tiny pieces. The truth is, only Al Qaeda had a worse September than the Atlanta Braves and the Boston Red Sox.

Here in America, it was a typically embarrassing month for left-wingers. There was Maxine Waters, who was recently voted the most corrupt member of Congress, referring to Allen West as an “oreo”; there was recently released hiker Shane Bauer, a Berkeley graduate in the questionable field of Peace and Conflict, offering his heart-felt thanks, not to America or even Barack Obama and the State Department, but to Hugo Chavez, Saul Alinsky and Sean Penn; and rounding out the trifecta was North Carolina Governor Beverly Perdue (D) suggesting that because politicians have been working so darn hard of late, there should be a moratorium on elections for the next two years!

I’m not sure that anyone has ever asked Michelle Obama what woman in public life she has admired the most. I’m guessing that, being the lover of the high life that she is, Eleanor Roosevelt and even Hillary Clinton are just as unlikely to be her response as Margaret Thatcher, Golda Meir or Sarah Palin. If injected with a dose of truth serum, I’m betting it would be Eva Peron or Imelda Marcos.

As for her husband, one of the most annoying things about him is that when he’s out on the stump, which, come to think of it, is all the time, he starts dropping his g’s, as in comin’, goin’ and taxin’, in a pathetic attempt to sound like a regular guy. The last candidate to go that route was Hillary Clinton when she was campaigning, or should I say campaignin’, south of the Mason-Dixon Line in 2008. I have no idea who convinces these Ivy League graduates that they can suddenly pass themselves off as members of the proletariat by debasing their diction, but it’s truly dumb and condescending. Still, even I can understand the temptation when Obama recently addressed the members of the Black Congressional Caucus, the closest thing to a gathering of the Mystic Knights of the Sea since the cancellation of “Amos ‘n’ Andy.”

But at least when Obama gives a speech, it answers the age old question: Who cut the G’s?

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