Because liberal politicians always want to paint life in America as bleak and miserable, a place that would be a living hell if not for their superhuman efforts, they are always telling lies and gaming statistics. For instance, when they start yammering about all the poor souls living under the poverty line, a line by the way that is only slightly more believable than the one that a lounge lizard feeds a dumb blonde, they neglect to take into account food stamps, health care, education expenses and unreported, under the table, income. The last of these includes day labor, burglaries and illegal drug sales. In fact, when you realize that nine percent of the population suffers from some form of drug dependency, it’s a miracle that our unemployment rate isn’t even higher than it is.

Of course when liberals aren’t denouncing America, some of them stay busy holding benefits for Africa. I must confess that of all the charitable activities available to Americans, those targeting Africa strike me as the goofiest. In fact, sometimes I think that the continent primarily exists so that do-gooders can feel they have a purpose in life. And, unlike some charities, such as those devoted to eliminating a disease or helping people get their lives back in shape after suffering the horrors of a natural disaster, the upside of helping Africans is that there is no end in sight. When Bono is one very elderly Irishman, I can assure you that Africa will still require his constant attention.

Frankly, I don’t know why anyone would devote so much time and effort to the place. It is a pig sty of a continent. It is home to slavery; to the vile practice of female circumcision; to Muslim terrorists and pirates; it’s a place where the rules of war invariably involve kidnapping, rape and maiming; and, for good measure, where men suffering from AIDS believe that unprotected sex with young virgins is a cure, or at least so they say.

It’s also the place where freedom from Europe’s colonial powers didn’t bring democracy, but only provided black degenerates with the opportunity to prove how much crueler they could be than the English, Spanish, French, Dutch and German, overseers had ever been.

Recently, a bunch of show business celebrities shot a TV spot where “famine” was referred to as the f-word. Afterwards, I’m sure they all patted themselves on the back for their humane efforts. But did any of them ever ask how it is that famine is as commonplace in Africa as egotism is in Hollywood? At some point, wouldn’t you think that after all this time those millions of people would have figured out how to feed themselves without George Clooney’s assistance?

Here in the States, we have the Occupy Wall Street oafs demonstrating against something or other. As close as anyone can figure, they don’t like a lot of money winding up in anyone else’s hands. What makes it so fascinating is that they’re getting a lot of shout-outs from various liberals. Even Obama, who has received more campaign contributions from Wall Street than any politician in history, has given them his personal seal of approval.

According to CelebrityNetWorth.com, the 10 richest people who have had good things to say about the street rabble have been Yoko Ono (whose wealth is estimated to be half a billion dollars); Russell Simmons ($325 million); Roseanne Barr ($80 million); Deepak Chopra ($80 million); Kanye West ($70 million); Alec Baldwin ($65 million); Susan Sarandon ($50 million); Michael Moore ($50 million); Tim Robbins ($50 million); and Nancy Pelosi ($35.5 million).

What I make of all this is that America has the richest, as well as the most insufferable, Communists in the world. Also, I now understand how, when Roseanne Barr said that everyone who had more than $100 million should be beheaded, she arrived at that seemingly arbitrary figure.

Looking at that list makes me wonder what people do with all that money. I mean, after you buy a palace to live in for, say, $20 million, what do you do with all the rest? Even if you toss in a yacht, an expensive wardrobe and a team of servants, how do you even keep track of all that loot?

I had thought that at this late date, Obama had apologized to every nation on earth, but I heard a rumor that he wanted to apologize to Japan for our having dropped the A-bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, but that Japanese diplomats had nixed it. I don’t blame them. It might call to attention the fact that Japan never apologized for Pearl Harbor; for the death march at Bataan; for the American, British and Australian, POWs they slaughtered; for their butchery in Manchuria, Burma and the Philippines; and for kidnapping thousands and thousands of Chinese and Korean women for use in their military brothels.

But you can’t really expect patriotism or even perspective from Obama. In the history lessons he received from his radical professors and his demented religious mentors, it’s only the United States that has ever been guilty of crimes and atrocities.

Because liberals deal solely in lies, theirs is an even more vile currency than China’s corrupt yuan. One need only hear the likes of Nancy Pelosi insist that what heartless Republicans want is for women to die on the floor and for health care providers not to intervene. An obvious fabrication, at least so far as this heartless Republican is concerned. What I want is for women such as Nancy Pelosi, Loretta Sanchez, Maxine Waters, Debbie Wasserman-Schultz and Sheila Jackson Lee, to die on the floor of the House and for health care providers not to intervene.

Because I have a few friends who have done exceptionally well in the world of TV game shows, I am always trying to come up with a new one. My latest brainstorm involves a lie detector that would provide an electrical shock every time a contestant failed to provide an honest answer. For the pilot, I would like to hook up Henry Waxman. The typically good-looking, charming, host (feel free to picture me) would ask the congressman a series of questions. For instance, I might start out with, “Congressman, you have said that the only reason a Jew would ever vote for a Republican is because of his own personal greed. Do you actually believe that?”

“Yes, I…(yowl)…I really do…(howl)…Certainly I…(blood-curdling scream)…”

Next week, tune in when we put Harry Reid in the hot seat.