Congress passed a bill banning insider trading by House members. It’s a watered down version of the original bill. It strictly bans insider trading by members of Congress but it has exceptions for stocks, bonds, real estate, currency and precious metals.

President Obama assured an Oklahoma crowd he favored oil drilling. That went over well. The president was on the road to publicize the Obama Doctrine, which states that the federal government can solve every problem on earth except high oil prices.

Disney said its movie John Carter lost two hundred million in one month. They said it was a mistake to make a movie about a Civil War soldier on Mars. It’s the sequel to another flop called Jimmy Carter, which also lost two hundred million every thirty days.

Personality and Behavior Bulletin said people become more politically conservative with every drink they consume. This could bring back Prohibition. Democrats don’t like finding out that it takes just two beers to undo twelve years of public school education.

India’s Elite Football League was formed which will field twelve pro football teams in India. They hired Sandy Grossman of Fox Sports to create sample footage for advertisers. It’s the first-ever case of people in India calling America for technical support.

President Obama turned pro-oil exploration in Oklahoma. He’d argued for weeks there was no silver bullet to lower gas prices. However after three days in the real world he was boasting he’d laid down more pipe than any president since Bill Clinton.

Etch-a-Sketch’s stock doubled when the toy was compared to Mitt Romney by his aide. Everything Mitt touches turns a profit. If the aide had said Mitt Romney was like an Etch-a-Sketch on the dashboard of a Chevy Volt, taxpayers would have their money back by now.

Nancy Pelosi’s daughter Alexandra enraged Democrats with her HBO documentary about welfare recipients in New York who refuse to look for work. She videotaped them saying they deserve a free ride because their ancestors were slaves. It’s a warning to all parents about what happens when kids get out of film school and they can’t find a job.

Kim Kardashian was flour-bombed by a protester when she arrived at a club in L.A. to promote her new perfume. She just laughed and walked inside covered in white powder. She got a huge cheer when she entered the room before everyone realized it was just flour.

Psychology Today published a workplace study finding that one of every twenty-five bosses is a clinical psychopath. They all lean that direction. Only someone who’s nuts would open a business and pay for everybody’s health care until their kids turn twenty-six.

President Obama traveled to the demilitarized zone between North and South Korea where he peered through binoculars. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing in North Korea. Here was a country where the rich paid their fair share and it was in ruins.

President Obama met with China’s leader Hu Jintao in Seoul. The president of China had no choice but to meet with Obama in person. He’s been calling trying to collect on the debt but the White House has Caller ID and the president won’t pick up.

President Obama was caught on a hot mic in Seoul telling the Russians he’ll have more flexibility about arms reduction after he’s re-elected. This was not helpful. It just re-ignites the debate in the Republican Party over whether he is a Muslim or a communist.

© Copyright 2012 Argus Hamilton