From The Comedy Store
New York’s Joey Chestnut won the annual Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest on Coney Island on July Fourth. He ate sixty-eight hot dogs in twenty minutes. Mayor Bloomberg was on hand to arrest the winner when he ordered a twenty-ounce Pepsi to wash it down.
New York’s Joey Chestnut won the annual Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest on Coney Island on July Fourth. He ate sixty-eight hot dogs in twenty minutes. Mayor Bloomberg was on hand to arrest the winner when he ordered a twenty-ounce Pepsi to wash it down.
The Wall Street Journal reported an improved market for job applicants. It’s vital to remember that you’re always showcasing. Last week at the Orlando airport a woman was arrested for groping a TSA agent and two days later she was offered a job with the TSA.
President Obama canceled his vacation to Martha’s Vineyard, saying he must focus on his re-election campaign. It calls for a special counsel. If the president suffers an injury that’s preventing him from playing golf, the country has a right to know about it.
The Justice Department vowed it will continue raiding California’s medical marijuana stores. Whose side are they on? First they supply Mexico’s drug cartels with automatic weapons, now they’re closing down the American stores that compete with them.
President Obama embarked on a bus tour of Ohio and Pennsylvania to try to package himself as a working class president. His campaign decided to label the bus tour Betting on America. It’s part of the president’s plan to get the country gambling again.
President Obama was in Pennsylvania where he ate cheeseburgers, French fries, ice cream and pie. This is why comedians love Democrats. Bill Clinton saw interns, John Edwards saw a videographer and Obama cheats on his wife’s Healthy Foods Initiative.
Jerry Brown was handed a bill passed by the assembly making California a sanctuary state for illegal aliens. There are other sensitive cultural decisions weighing on him. Minorities are pressing hard to have English recognized as California’s third language.
The U.S. Olympic Village in London where U.S. athletes stay opened on Monday. It’s got an all-night McDonald’s, two beer gardens, free snacks, free sodas and free condoms. This gives us four weeks to see if ObamaCare works as well in practice as it does in theory.
Attorney General Eric Holder promised Friday he’ll challenge Arizona’s law allowing police to check your citizenship when they pull you over. It’s foolproof. The cop asks you a math or a science question and if you get it wrong you were born in the United States.
House leaders from both parties met Tuesday to discuss the GOP proposal to repeal ObamaCare. Both sides called the meetings frank and constructive. By frank, they mean they threw things, and by constructive they mean they glued the vases back together.
President Obama skipped speaking to the NAACP convention in Houston to campaign in Iowa. Black voter enthusiasm is down. Obama is so worried that black voters will stay home on Election Day that he may pressure banks to resume foreclosures.
The Weather Channel reported hot winds swept across Southern California Tuesday from the desert. Dry heat is the worst. It was so hot in San Diego the Department of Justice decided to smuggle toy machine guns that squirt water to the Mexican drug cartels.
Mitt Romney was accused of stashing his two-hundred fifty million dollar fortune in overseas banks before the recession hit. It could hurt him. Just the fact that he runs a surplus and has money in the bank proves that Mitt lacks the experience to run the county.
© Copyright 2012 Argus Hamilton
