From The Comedy Store
The U.S. soccer team beat Mexico’s soccer team in Mexico City for the first time in seventy-five years. It’s a good thing this happened in Mexico City and not Los Angeles. If this had happened where there are a lot of Mexicans, there might have been a riot.
The White House saw a new poll showing two-thirds of Americans believe the country is going in the wrong direction. It’s not all bad. Waiting for Joe Biden to say something really stupid every day has replaced baseball as America’s National Pastime.
The White House disclosed that President Obama brews his own beer in the basement of the White House living quarters. The reporters weren’t surprised in the least. It’s an old Chicago tradition, just in case Prohibition comes back, to be prepared.
The U.S. soccer team beat Mexico’s soccer team in Mexico City for the first time in seventy-five years. It’s a good thing this happened in Mexico City and not Los Angeles. If this had happened where there are a lot of Mexicans, there might have been a riot.
The Crumb and Get It bakery in Virginia refused to let Joe Biden to do an event in the bakery. It’s due to small business anger. The White House was upset because they were hoping that a cupcake in Joe Biden’s mouth would have the same effect as a cork.
The White House refused to end ethanol subsidies after the drought caused food and gas prices to soar. There’s a reason that the people who built this country reserved corn for whiskey and not for energy. We can get the oil out of the ground whether it rains or not.
Chicago put a four-thousand-pound stone marker in front of the Baskin-Robbins where Barack took Michelle on their first date. It’ll be great for tourism. Americans will come from near and far to see the last place that Michelle Obama advocated ice cream.
Hillary Clinton said she’s made plans to step down as Secretary of State at the end of the term. It’s not easy for her to do. Hillary Clinton once tried to resign from the Obama Administration and the Capitol Police arrested her for leaving the scene of an accident.
President Obama passed up the chance to play golf in Washington Sunday to attend church at St. John’s Episcopal with his family. It was an emotional experience for him. He felt the pain that all politicians feel when a collection plate goes by and it’s not for them.
President Obama disclosed he is working on a plan to release oil from the Strategic Petroleum Reserve to lower gas prices before the election. It’s his last option. They tried releasing the Strategic Wind Reserve, but every time Joe Biden gives a speech things just get worse.
Joe Biden will reportedly be going to Orlando next week during the GOP Convention after his Secret Service detail made security arrangements there Tuesday. This is cruel. The Democratic Convention will be held in Charlotte, but they told Joe Biden it’ll be in Orlando.
Leading from Behind is a new book which says Hillary Clinton talked Barack Obama into killing Osama bin Laden after the president cancelled three previous SEAL kill missions in three months. It was excruciating. President Obama couldn’t pull the trigger until he met with a sports psychologist who told him to pretend it was Winston Churchill.
Democratic Convention planners said they will dovote one night to the GOP’s war on women. TV networks aren’t happy. They’re going to devote so much time to talking about birth control they’ll have to reserve two hours of the program just to read the side effects.
President Obama met students at the Ohio State student union Wednesday where he signed autographs and repeatedly misspelled the word Ohio. The president spelled the state’s name O-I-H-O. Nevertheless the voters gave him an A, it’s been that way all his life.
© Copyright 2012 Argus Hamilton
