From The Comedy Store
Israel’s Benjamin Netanyahu tried to speak with President Obama at the U.N. but was rebuffed. He tried another way that didn’t work. He put on suspenders and glasses and pretended to be Larry King so the president would think it was a softball interview.
The White House admitted the Libyan embassy attack was by al-Qaeda, not by a mob of spontaneous protesters angry over a movie. It’s obvious. It could only have been a spontaneous protest if it happened to be Take Our Rocket Launchers to Work Day in Libya.
Mitt Romney revealed that his Mormon great-grandfather moved to Mexico a century ago to avoid being prosecuted in the United States for polygamy. This shows how tough he’d be on illegal immigration. His family kicked themselves out of the country.
Jessica Alba urged voters in a TV ad to pledge allegiance to Obama. The campaign is also selling U.S. flags with Obama’s O logo where the fifty stars belong. It’s such a cult of personality that the on-hold music at the White House features German marching songs.
The Obama campaign website offered donors an altered American flag with an O in the box in place of the fifty stars. Everyone’s offended by them. They ran one up the flagpole at a U.S. Embassy in the Middle East and the Muslims refused to burn it.
U.S. Congresswoman Maxine Waters was cleared by the Ethics Committee of getting money for her husband’s bank. She threw her grandson overboard to save herself. It’s working so well with Social Security, she thought she’d try it with the Ethics Committee.
Bank of America announced plans to cut sixteen thousand jobs and close two hundred branch locations. They’re trying to cut costs due to expenses. The employees didn’t so much mind getting the pink slip as they did the ten-dollar pink slip service charge.
Mitt Romney was accused by Democrats of upping his tax payments by not subtracting all his charity deductions. Imagine the opposition’s fury. Democrats say Mitt gave four million dollars to charity last year and all that money could have gone to helping the needy.
The Green Bay Packers were robbed of a victory by NFL replacement refs on the last play. The integrity of the game is under siege. They just hired a replacement ref to moderate the presidential debates to make sure that no one gambles on the outcome.
President Obama drew criticism for going on with the ladies of The View on ABC rather than meet world leaders at the U.N. He’s simply following in the tradition of FDR, JFK and Bill Clinton. A Democrat isn’t a Democrat unless he makes time for Whoopi.
Iran’s President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad ranted and raved against the U.S. and Israel in his speech to the U.N. General Assembly. It got little play locally. If New Yorkers want to hear a short, hot-tempered Iranian shout at the world, they can rent a cab.
Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad declared in his U.N. speech that Israel will be eliminated and has no roots in the Middle East. He was upset when officials wouldn’t allow him to visit Ground Zero. They didn’t want to tell him that it’ll visit him soon enough.
Israel’s Benjamin Netanyahu tried to speak with President Obama at the U.N. but was rebuffed. He tried another way that didn’t work. He put on suspenders and glasses and pretended to be Larry King so the president would think it was a softball interview.
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid denounced Mitt Romney for sullying the Mormon faith. He’s one to talk. Like most lawmakers who have served in Washington D.C. for over thirty years, Senator Reid credits his longevity in office to insufficient evidence.
© Copyright 2012 Argus Hamilton
