From The Comedy Store
The White House said that people may register for taxpayer-subsidized health care on the honor system. The expense could bust future budgets without tax hikes. The administration prefers to shovel money into a problem because it burns cleaner than coal.
The White House said that people may register for taxpayer-subsidized health care on the honor system. The expense could bust future budgets without tax hikes. The administration prefers to shovel money into a problem because it burns cleaner than coal.
President Obama quoted the Declaration of Independence. It complained of multitudes of new offices, swarms of officers to harass our people, and the need to promote public welfare. Somebody put the CBO report on ObamaCare on his TelePrompter.
Los Angeles courthouses conducted marriages for hundreds of gay couples after the U.S. Supreme Court refused to uphold a voter-passed ban. It’s another landmark. Last year Barney Frank became the first congressman to enter into a same-sex marriage, as opposed to most Members of Congress, who prefer to enter into someone else’s marriage.
Cairo’s streets were filled with protesters against the coup that overthrew Egypt’s Islamist regime. Our world today owes a huge debt to this nation’s history and culture. Facebook is a lot like ancient Egypt in the way everyone writes on walls and worships cats.
Egypt’s President Morsi was arrested by the army. The president issued laws by decree, he ignored the constitution, and he blamed his predecessor for the economy. Most impressive is how it only took Egypt a year to establish an American-style democracy.
The Boston Herald ran photos of Secretary of State John Kerry yachting the day that Egypt fell. His cell phone was strapped to his shorts. Thank goodness the NSA was listening to his calls and broke into the conversation to tell him what was going on in Egypt.
House Republicans vowed to pass an immigration bill which builds a seven-hundred-mile-long fence. It greatly improves the Senate bill. Experts say that a seven-hundred-mile-long fence is the perfect way to protect a border that is nineteen hundred miles long.
Russia’s Vladimir Putin referred to the United States as Russia’s partner in peace. It sounded a little spooky to Americans raised during the Cold War. This year marks the fiftieth anniversary of the Nobel Peace Prize which Josef Stalin won just for dying.
Russian spy Anna Chapman proposed marriage to NSA’s Ed Snowden. She was caught in the U.S. along with nine other Russian spies two years ago and traded to Russia for four U.S. spies. We can’t even effect a spy swap without running up a sixty percent deficit.
The Tour de France continued into its second week with little U.S. interest in the race without Lance Armstrong in it. It’s sad. Sometimes American fans wish Lance Armstrong had murdered somebody instead of cheated so he could still compete in sports.
New York Yankees star Alex Rodriguez returned from season-long injury to face live pitching for the first time in a minor league rehab stint. In his first eight at-bats, he failed to hit the ball out of the infield. It only took him two games to whip himself in playoff form.
The University of Hawaii set aside an oceanfront site in a bid to have President Obama’s library located there. However, one of two colleges in Southside Chicago may get the library. That’s because in Chicago Barack Obama got a hundred twenty percent of the vote.
Syracuse doctors were about to harvest the organs of a brain-dead patient when she opened her eyes on the table. Days later she was released. It gave the president his first chance in years to promise Americans a better future under ObamaCare.
© Copyright 2013 Argus Hamilton
