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August 31, 2013

From The Comedy Store

President Obama refused to consider sending U.S. troops to Syria. The country has colonial ties to France, military ties to Russia, Iranian support and al-Qaeda rebels. For once America’s blessed to have a leader from Chicago with experience in this situation.

President Obama refused to consider sending U.S. troops to Syria. The country has colonial ties to France, military ties to Russia, Iranian support and al-Qaeda rebels. For once America’s blessed to have a leader from Chicago with experience in this situation.

President Obama was urged by Britain and France to lead a military intervention in Syria. The gas attack prompted the outcry. Until President Obama makes a decision he remains huddled with his two closest Middle East advisors–his five-iron and his putter.

President Obama had lunch with Joe Biden in the Oval Office to plot foreign policy in the wake of the expected Allied attack on Syria. The White House chef personalizes the food for them at this weekly lunch. For instance, Joe Biden’s lunch always comes with a toy.

Martin Luther King III spoke at the fiftieth anniversary of the March on Washington. He echoed his father’s dream of equality between blacks and whites. His speech was really eloquent but someone has to tell him that this is America, speak Spanish.

The NSA admitted it scooped up fifty thousand e-mails from Americans with no terror ties. They confused the area codes of Cairo and Washington D.C.. That would explain why the NSA signaled a coup in Cairo when Bryce Harper overthrew the cutoff man.

Private Bradley Manning announced as he enters prison for the WikiLeaks spy case that he identifies as a woman and will go by Chelsea Manning. It’s that simple. In a related story, Hillary Clinton announced she will run for president in 2016 as Sir Hillary Rodham.

President Obama proposed a rating system for colleges that measures every school’s cost-effectiveness. He said students are graduating in debt with no jobs. President Obama could lower taxes, jump-start the economy and the kids would all have great jobs waiting for them, but he doesn’t want to spend the rest of his life speaking at Republican dinners.

Aaron Hernandez was indicted for murder in Boston. The victim texted his sister from the football star’s back seat that he was about to get killed. It didn’t take the NHSA five minutes to declare it proves it’s not safe for anyone to text while a car is moving.

Little League uniforms bear an I Won’t Cheat patch thanks to Dale Murphy’s national campaign. It’s a growing movement. I Won’t Cheat was just endorsed by the MLB Players Association, NCAA football coaches and the Bill Clinton foundation so it’s lost all credibility.

Al Gore gave an interview in which he compared global warming skeptics to racists and homophobes. He’s been off the rails for awhile. Last year Al divorced Tipper when he came home early one day and found another man’s carbon footprints on the floor.

President Obama told CNN that Republicans in Congress are afraid of passing a budget that funds ObamaCare because of what Rush Limbaugh will say. The radio star pays cash for his medical care from his savings. It’s an idea that could destroy the economy.

San Diego mayor Bob Filner finally resigned after extensive negotiations with the city over his liability for sex harassment charges. Eighteen women accused him of groping them at work . The good news is, he was immediately hired as a trainer by the TSA.

The White House announced another delay in the implementation of ObamaCare. There’s a two-week delay in getting the major insurers signed in. ObamaCare is like one of those hospital gowns which tie in the back, you just think you’re covered.

© Copyright 2013 Argus Hamilton

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